Beauty

Three Ways to Practice Body Acceptance

Do I love my stretch marks and cellulite? No, I don’t love them—I also don’t hate them. I just accept them and I’m okay with the fact that they’re there.

Self love and body acceptance doesn't exactly mean loving every single part of your body. And this might catch you by surprise because it seems to go against everything that love and acceptance stands for—but it’s not.

It’s not about learning to love and romanticize over something you don’t like. It’s about normalizing it, accepting it for what it is and not letting it define you.

Instead of trying to “love” something you don’t love, try this instead:

1. Bring awareness to it without judging it or linking it to a negative meaning. If you see cellulite, call it for what it is, rather than saying something like: gross, disgusting, ugly. Keep it at cellulite without the self sabotaging story attached to it.

2. Normalize it and accept it for what it is. Remind yourself that rolls, folds, and dimples are just normal things that your body creates.

3. Don’t attach it to your worth. It doesn’t deem you as unworthy and it doesn’t represent your beauty. These things are apart of your body, but they certainly don’t define it.



For more tools on body acceptance, click here to take my FREE body confidence course.

Love,

Devi

Dear Victoria Secret, Lack of Diversity is a Problem.

I was 15 years old when I became infatuated with the models from the VS Fashion Show.

I wanted to look like them. Be like them.

And so obviously, I did everything I could to achieve my desire. I vividly remember typing into Google, “Adriana Lima’s and Miranda Kerr’s diet and workout routine.”

I followed the plans strictly, and yet it never worked. My body got smaller, but it definitely didn’t morph into a replica of a VS angel.

As a result, I moved into heavier extremes. Dangerous ones even. From eating *just* baby food to eating nothing at all (or at least trying not to).

Again, never actualizing the body I dreamed of no matter how hard I tried. I was frustrated and filled with deep hatred toward myself and my body.

“Why can’t my body just look like them?”

I had no real understanding of anatomy at the time. I couldn’t comprehend no matter how hard I tried, my build and genetic make-up are completely different. And for so long, I thought those differences made me unworthy.

But at the root of it all, while the misunderstanding of anatomy certainly factored in, it was more about the lack of diversity I saw as a young girl. I didn’t see other bodies being celebrated; I only saw one.

If I wanted to be beautiful and worthy—I was conditioned to believe I had to look like an angel. And it saddens me that even to this day, Victoria Secret refuses to diversify the company. You’d think a company that has so much power would want to help change that narrative—not continue to enable it.

While they’re under no obligation to do so, saying the reason not to is because the show is a “fantasy” supports that fucked up narrative. And in a real way, dehumanizes so many of us.

Despite being extremely disappointed in the company, I’m proud to see people vocalize against it and stand together on this.

We’re all worthy of being celebrated. Every size, every shape, every color, every identity.


I love you,

Devi


WANT TO LEARN HOW TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN YOUR BODY AS IT IS? CLICK HERE AND TAKE MY FREE BODY CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE.

Stop Sexualizing Women's Bodies

When I first started modeling, I decided I would never do a boudoir shoot. I thought that doing this type of shoot was “inappropriate.” That it was a plea for attention. That I shouldn’t expose my body on the internet. That it would degrade my worth. That it mean I didn’t respect myself. All things that I didn’t want people to associate with me. Yet every time I was asked to do a boudoir shoot, I felt drawn to say yes because deep down, I really wanted to do it.

I wanted to do it because I spent years feeling uncomfortable in my body and as a result, I kept it hidden and covered. The fact that I suddenly had this intense desire to walk into a shoot completely exposed, 40 lbs heavier, was empowering and liberating.

So, eventually, I said, "fuck it. Why not?"

I was immediately shamed when I did my first boudoir shoot.

I received a text that said something along the lines of, “Devon, what you’re doing does not go unnoticed and I am extremely proud of the work you’re putting out into the world. However, I do worry about the type of shoots you’re doing. They are not the best way to represent your brand. You don’t want people to google you and find pictures of you in lingerie. It indicates a need for attention and sexualizes your brand.”

As I continued to do more boudoir shoots, I continued to hear similar comments.

I never reacted to the feedback—but it started to bother me immensely. I was being accused of things that weren’t true.

You see, I wasn’t doing these shoots for attention. I was doing it to celebrate my body because I finally felt confident in it. I was doing it to help paint a clear image that confidence isn’t tied to a look, it’s a feeling from within. I was doing it to prove that you can feel sexy, just as you are.

In this exact scenario, nudity represented a message I strongly stand for: body positivity.

So, I decided that these opinions deserved some unpacking, because quite frankly, I think it’s infuriating that a women can’t capture her body in it’s most natural state without it having a negative connotation.

Through the unpacking, I discovered that the narrative behind why people believe this is actually pretty obvious:

You are conditioned to think of sex the minute you see nudity; it is taught by society that a woman’s body is for sexual gratification and an object for pleasure. It’s why you link the amount of clothing a woman wears to how much respect she has for herself or how much respect she deserves to receive.

And while it’s perfectly okay to value modesty, it’s important to realize that what empowers you might be completely different to what empowers someone else. Modesty doesn’t place you on a pedestal or mean that you are more deserving of respect.

These notions are harmful and fucked up in a myriad of ways. It’s part of the reason rape exists and at it’s core, is a form of misogyny.

It’s time to stop enabling a system that doesn’t serve women and let go of the inherited beliefs that prevents us from showing up powerfully and authentically.

A woman should feel empowered and safe to express herself in whatever way feels right to her. She shouldn’t be shamed or feel an ounce of danger because of the way she chooses to exist in the world — end of story.

 

Devi

I Refuse To Wear A Bra.

I think bras are a hassle; buying one is a chore and wearing one feels like I’m putting myself through torture because they are stupidly uncomfortable.

I don’t care what anyone says: there is no such thing is a comfortable bra—they are restricting and I don’t like the way they hug my around my rib cage.

After years of feeling compelled to wear a bra, one day I decided, “Fuck it. I’m done complaining, I’m not putting this thing on anymore.” This decision has been liberating and empowering. I made an autonomous choice for myself rather than following an arbitrary rule; a rule that deems your boobs as wrong and inappropriate.

You see, bras are not designed to your advantage and at the root it’s just another way to make women feel insecure about their bodies. They were designed to cover up the natural shape of your boobs to make them appear “larger,” “perkier,” or “ symmetrical.” To either minimize or maximize them and to conceal your nipples.

But, they offer NO benefit.

According to studies, “Medically, physiologically, anatomically – breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra." "Not wearing a bra will lead to increased collagen production and elasticity, which improves lift in a developing breast.”

It’s time to unlearn what society taught you: your boobs are not inappropriate or wrong—not the size, shape, color, or way the hang.

Don’t feel obligated to cover up your nipples and don’t let anyone make you feel insecure about how they look, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with your boobs.

Every single pair of boobs look different. None of them are wrong, right, better, or worse—they are all just normal.

The next time you are about to put on a bra, I want you to ask yourself, “Am I doing this for me? Or am I doing this because I feel forced to?”

Because darling, wearing a bra is your choice. This is your body and you get to make the rules.

XX

Devi

Fit, Fat and All That - Guest Interview

From her enlightening messages about body image to her captivating personality and sassy attitude, I am thrilled to put the spotlight on my girl, Julia.

Julia, also known as FitFatAndAllThat on Instagram, is a body positive influencer who openly talks about the struggles she's faced with body image and disordered eating. I felt immediately connected with her the minute I found her, not just because I can relate to her story, but because of her transparency and willingness to show up vulnerably. 

I am excited for you to dive into this interview I had with Julia so you can get a snip of her story and the process she's used to heal her relationship with food and her body. So without further ado... 


What do you think triggered you to have disordered eating and body image dismorphia? 

I believe the media had a huge role in my eating disorder and I was also bullied about my weight in high school which led to a lot of insecurities. I never really saw my body type in my magazines or talked about as being “beautiful” in movies or shows. The diet industry shoves a certain body type in our faces and that was never my body, so I felt that I needed to change the way I looked to be accepted by society. 

How did you start to heal your relationship with food and your body?

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I spent years hating my body and never treating it with respect. I knew that I didn’t want to live my life uncomfortable in my skin and decided that I needed professional help. I decided to seek out a therapist and nutritionist that specialized in eating disorder recovery and spent a couple years really breaking down my body-image issues. 

What is one common mistake you think people make when they are trying to overcome their eating disorder? 

I think a lot of people mask their eating disorder or eating issues with a “diet” lifestyle. I held onto my eating disorder for years without realizing it because I was still very restrictive with my eating. I counted calories and took part in fad diets. I thought that because I was eating and not throwing up that I wasn’t in my ED, but I was. I realized to really overcome my eating disorder, I would need to let everything I thought about food and how I ate go. And then start fresh. I had to teach myself all over again how to intuitively eat and listen to my body. 

What advice would you give someone who is trying to feel confident in their body? 

The biggest thing I had to stop doing is comparing myself to other women. I used to envy naturally thin women and I would get angry that I wasn’t blessed with that. I unfollowed accounts that didn’t make me feel good about myself and started to saturate my life with body-positive talk. I kept telling myself that every single human is different. For us to expect that we will look like someone else is ridiculous. We all have flaws and imperfections. And I knew that no matter my size, if I didn’t work on changing my thoughts I would never love myself, even if I was thin.

It's important to know that you’re going to have bad body days, it’s normal. But to be able to get out of them and rationalize your thoughts is the important thing. And know that it’s one bad day, and tomorrow is a new one! 

What is one thing you do regularly to practice self care? 

I love baths and candles. Anytime I feel very stressed and out of whack, I try to take a relaxing bath with yummy candles and some good, calm music. I know that my thoughts can race and get out of control, so to be able to calm down usually helps when I’m feeling overwhelmed. 

Do you still struggle with your body image? Or have "bad" body image days? What are things you do to help shake it off? 

Of course! We all have those days and it’s completely normal. I know that certain times of the month are harder for me and I try to prepare for that. I also know that working out helps with my mood a ton. Whether it’s an intense cycling class or just a causal walk, I know that moving my body and getting outside always helps my mood.

What is your absolute favorite thing to do lately? 

Oh man, I love doing so much - haha. But since it’s starting to warm up in Denver, I love to get outside. Whether it’s brunch on a patio or hiking in the mountains - being in nature brings me so much happiness.


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GET CONNECTED WITH JULIA:

If you want to catch Julia dancing to her favorite songs in the car, or enlightening you with her spiel on body positivity - I highly recommend checking out her Instagram. 

Instagram: @fitfatandallthat

Email:  FitFatAndAllThat@gmail.com

I am plus size and still love my body

I am so incredibly honored to have been given the opportunity to interview the fashionista herself, Casey Snow. From her inspiring message to her contagious smile, this girl is truly a light to the world. 

When I started following Casey on Instagram, I was immediately drawn to her exuberant confidence and captivating style. Not only does she take excellent care of her body, but her positive messages about self-love, body love, and living a fearless life make her a killer role model for women everywhere.

I am so excited for you to dive in and learn her perspective on loving your body, exactly as it is. 

So without further ado....  

What inspired you to start talking about body positivity on your social media platform? 

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Since I was little I remember how different I was treated compared to the other kids, at school and even at home. The first time I questioned myself was the day I ran home crying after some kids threw rocks at me and called me names. I was just starting kindergarten. I ran into my mother’s arms and cried. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong. 

I started talking about body positivity because it took me till after high school to realize that I had done nothing wrong. For years I believed I wasn’t worth anything because of other’s disdain for what I looked like. My appearance made me an outsider and all the hate and ignorance made me begin to hate my own body. All I wanted was to be like everyone else and I started tearing myself apart piece by piece until eventually one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I made a choice that would forever change my life and thankfully I am still here, but I don’t want that to be the case for anyone else. 

I never had a community or people I could relate to or talk to and that’s what I want to help build. I want to show others that they aren’t alone and that people’s ignorance doesn’t make them not worth loving because they are worth everything and more. 

How did you get to the place you are now to feel confident and empowered in your skin? 

I went through a lot to get to where I am now and even today, I still struggle. You don’t always need to be strong to be confident, but I think letting go helped. Letting go of expectations and being able to just be myself without the restraints of what people think of me or not. It matters what I think of myself and that I can love who I am for everything that I am, including my body. People find themselves at different times in their lives. It’s never easy, but it is always worth it. 

What does body positive mean to you? 

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Body positivity to me means loving your body for all that it is and goes through. As a plus size woman, it’s about growth and acceptance of a body society deems unacceptable and fighting against that unrealistic expectation. Whether someone weighs more or less, it doesn’t matter because our bodies don’t define us. We do. I want to create a community where we are seen more than for our bodies, but as people worth more because we are more. 

 

 

 

We all have those days where we just feel “blaaahhhhhh” about ourselves. What do you do to bring yourself back to center and feel better about yourself? 

There are definitely days where I feel lost, but then I remember I’m not alone and I don’t have to be. Talking to people is a good way to help relieve that questioning. I am so thankful to be part of an amazing community where there is so many of us who have gone through similar experiences. Don’t ever be afraid or shamed  to reach out for help. Asking for help is one of the strongest things a person can do for themselves. It’s a big step and again, remembering you’re not alone is a comfort worth realizing.

What makes you feel most confident? 

What makes me confident everyday is knowing how far I have come and how many people I can help realize they are worth everything. Having taken me over a decade to realize that myself, I don’t want others to struggle with that as well. They deserve to be happy and to live their lives. Hate and ignorance is nothing worth waiting to be something that doesn’t exist. I want to build the voices of the silenced until we can no longer be ignored.


Get connected with Casey Snow: 

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I highly recommend checking out Casey on Instagram. Rather you need inspiration to spice up your wardrobe or want a reminder of your worth, she is your girl. 

Instagram: @discoveringcasey 

6 tips on how to stop comparing yourself

I think most of us know that comparing ourselves is not a good way to spend our energy, yet so many of us struggle with it and still find ourselves constantly doing it. Rather you are comparing yourself because you think you are better or because you think someone else is better, both situations bring negative emotions.

Comparison was something I struggled with for years and it was one thing that held me back from being able to completely love and accept myself. It's not an easy habit to break because we are put in situations daily that allow for it to happen. So with that said, I want to share my top six tips that have helped me overcome the habit of comparing myself to others.


TIP #1: REALIZE THAT JUST BECAUSE SHE IS BEAUTIFUL DOESN'T MEAN YOU AREN'T

This is easily one of my favorite self love quotes I've came across. It resonates with me deeply because I know for a lot of us girls, even myself, when we see a beautiful women we can instantly feel less. You are allowed to appreciate and acknoldge someone's beauty without it effecting the way you feel about yourself.

 Instead of looking at the picture thinking one of us is more beautiful, I realize that we are both completely different and comparing each other just wouldn't be fair. My cousin,  Alexa , and I are both beautiful in our own unique ways. 

Instead of looking at the picture thinking one of us is more beautiful, I realize that we are both completely different and comparing each other just wouldn't be fair. My cousin, Alexa, and I are both beautiful in our own unique ways. 

TIP #2: COMPLIMENT OTHERS

I think more people should go out of their way to compliment others. From personal experience, complimenting others allowed me to be more comfortable acknowledging someone's unique qualities and beauty without it detracting from the way I felt about myself. Not only that, but it's a good way to spend your energy because it makes the other person feel good and it makes you feel good (at least it does for me).

TIP #3: LIMIT PEOPLE YOU CONSTANTLY COMPARE YOURSELF TOO

One thing I did last year was unfollow people on social media I constantly compared myself too. When I had first started my fitness journey, I followed girls who had the ideal body that I wanted to have. I realized that my news feed was filled with girls bodies and people I wanted to look like. While most people find that motivating, I found that it only belittled my self confidence and made me feel like absolute shit about myself. You are in control of who you follow on social media so choose to only allow for people who make you feel good about yourself, not less.

TIP #4: CONSTANTLY REMIND YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF

Too often we spend more time thinking negatively about ourselves or focused on the things we want to change instead of being happy with what we are already have or are capable of. There is nothing wrong with wanting to make improvements but you are also allowed to be content with where you are now. You are allowed to remind yourself that you are beautiful as you are, and point out the qualities about yourself that you love.

TIP #5: CONTINUE TO WORK ON YOUR CONFIDENCE

Comparison can trigger from lack of confidence so similar to my last tip, work on accepting yourself and appreciating what you do love about yourself to help build up your confidence.

TIP #6: REALIZE YOU ARE NOT COMPARABLE

Last but not least, and what I think is obvious is that you are not comparable. You have different talents, unique qualities and special gifts that you offer to the world that no one else does. Comparing yourself to someone is like comparing pizza to a burger -- two completely different things and comparing the two wouldn't make sense.


So those are my top tips on how to stop comparing yourself. I hope you found it helpful! :)

XO

Devon Day

7 BEST WAYS TO USE COCONUT OIL

Coconut oil is legit liquid (solid liquid) gold because you can use the shit on everything. This is the one item in my household that I always have, in fact, I even keep two jars of it at all times. 

The best quality coconut oil is the cold pressed unrefined organic coconut oil in the glass container. I typically have one of the higher quality jars for eating and then I buy one of the cheaper jars for basic things. As I've mentioned there are so many different ways you can use coconut oil that it is unheard of. I haven't tried all the different ways but I have tried quite a few and I am about to share with you my favorite ways so here we go:

1. EAT IT

I thought everyone knew that coconut oil is okay to eat but then when I told my nana I ate coconut oil she said, "Devon this is a beauty product, you don't eat this!" So in case you didn't know, yes you can eat coconut oil. Coconut oil is actually really good for you because it's so nutrient dense.

I use coconut oil to swap out other oils most of the time whether I am cooking or baking. But one of my favorite ways to add it to my diet is by blending it in a blender with coffee, if you haven't tried that, go do that.

P.S. the coconut oil has such a mild taste so don't worry about your food tasting like coconut. Trust me, I am not a huge fan of coconut so I wouldn't cook with it if it did.

2. MAKE-UP REMOVER 

I never use anything else besides coconut oil to take off my eye make-up because the shit is magic. I know a lot of people actually wash their face with it, this is a complete hit or miss though because coconut oil can cause breakouts. I personally only use coconut oil to take off my eye makeup.

3. BODY LOTION 

I legit only ever use coconut oil as lotion. I have one bottle of lotion and I've had the bottle for almost a year now because I never use it ever since I found coconut oil. As long as you don't mind smelling like coconut and you are patient enough to let it dry on your skin for 3-5 minutes then you must try this! It not only makes my skin soft, but has helped my complexion and sometimes I feel like I am glowing.

4. DEEP CONDITIONER 

I like to coat my hair in coconut oil for 20-30 minutes before I wash my hair as a deep conditioner a few times a month. If you do this make sure that you shampoo it really good out or else it will make your hair look greasy.

5. OIL PULLING 

Oil pulling is one of those healthy things that a lot of holistic gurus are into. I incorporate it into my routine as much as possible and I have noticed a huge difference in my teeth (aka being whiter). If you want to learn more about this, read here.

6. TAME FRIZZ

I have naturally curly frizzy hair which can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. When I get fly aways or frizz, I melt a little bit of coconut oil between my fingers and lightly (do not overdo it) rub it over the fly aways or frizz and viola, gone.

7. TANNING OIL 

Some people say that coconut oil has a natural spf and some people say it doesn't. I personally do not recommend using this as a sunscreen, even if it does naturally contain spf because I highly doubt it's strong enough. But what I do use it for is tanning oil, and then 15-20 minutes of being out in the sun, I will add a natural spf for coverage.

So that covers it. Those are my 7 favorite ways to use coconut oil. If you have tried anything other than these ways, please share in the comments so I can try it out as well :)

xox

Devon Day