Interviews

Sex With The Lights On - Podcast Interview with Marie Wold

In this podcast with Marie Wold on The Grind & Be Grateful Podcast, I dive into the reasons women feel insecure in their bodies and how to overcome it. I get deep about body image, sex, and personal experiences I’ve had. Tune in to hear my story and learn tools on how to feel more confident in your body and in the bedroom.

Website: https://www.grindandbegratefulpodcast.com/

Marie’s Instagram: @MarieeWold

SHOW NOTES:

  • Who is Devon Day? (7:57)

  • Idolizing unrealistic body types (9:30)

  • Food as a form of fuel and nourishment (12:10)

  • Empowering yourself with your experiences (13:37)

  • What’s keeping us trapped in our lack of confidence and self-acceptance (14:55)

  • The stories we tell ourselves (15:25)

  • Bringing awareness to self-limiting and self-sabotaging beliefs (15:40)

  • “You don’t have to take these stories to heart, and you don’t have to let them hold power over you” … “You have the power to re-write the script” (17:05)

  • Thoughts are just thoughts (17:46)

  • “Find where your insecurity is coming from, unpack the belief, and shift the narrative” (20:20)

  • “How boring would it be if we all looked the same?” (21:50)

  • “Nobody laughs the same as us, or smiles the same as us…” (22:09)

  • The Jealousy Cycle / Comparison Game  (23:10)

  • The difference between admiration and jealousy (24:10)

  • Sex With the Lights On (25:17)

  • “So many of us let our insecurities be our identity; you have insecurities, but you aren’t your insecurities” (26:55)

  • “We are conditioned to feel insecure about our insecurities” (28:16)

  • Porn – why we should NOT use it as a too to learn about sex  (30:25)

  • Let’s Talk about sex (32:55)

  • “We all have that inner mean girl…” (33:10)

  • Normalizing our bodies (34:10)

  • Silencing the noise; – being aware of our thoughts through meditation (34:40)

  • Roles – addressing and challenging stereotypes (36:55)

  • Communicating with our partners (38:10)

  • “Vulnerability helps us connect with people even deeper…”

  • Directing and validating others (40:38)

  • Vulnerability gets easier over time (42:36)

  • “Sex doesn’t always flow so seamlessly” (44:48)

  • Where to find Devon’s Guide, Sex With the Lights On (45:45)

  • One thing Devon is currently grinding for & grateful for (46:20)

How I Overcome an Eating Disorder & Body Dysmorphia - Podcast With Fitfluential

In this interview with FitFluential, I discussed how I overcame an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. Tune in to hear my story and the tools I used to work through it by listening to the link below.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How my parents raised me and how I got into fitness.

  • The moment that made me realize I needed to change.

  • How I felt every day when I still had an eating disorder.

  • Why being too strict about your fitness is mentally damaging.

  • My binge-triggers and how I recovered from it.

  • Why I stopped doing cardio.

  • My thoughts on body type trends and acceptance.

Key Takeaways:

  • When you find what makes you happy, it’s a million times easier to stick to it.

  • Stressing over your health and fitness is still stress.

  • We’re relying too much on other people’s external validations.

Coming Out As BiSexual - Becca's Story

Just like any other day, I was mindlessly swiping through Bumble, except on this particularly day, someone caught my attention. A beautiful soul named Becca had sent me a message and I was immediately drawn to her - not just because she's beautiful, but because of the conversation we exchanged. We talked about bisexuality, polyamory, and non-monogamy - all things I was new or open to exploring and it felt great to discuss it with someone who shared common ground.

Exploring your sexuality can be absolutely fucking terrifying.  I want to do my part by bringing more awareness in hope that it can help others experience ease and comfort through their exploration.

I am thrilled to put the spotlight on Becca today as she shares her truth and story about coming out as bisexual.

 

When did you realize you were sexually attracted to women?

I realized I was attracted to women around my freshman year of high school. I can’t remember how it occurred to me or if I saw a particular woman that made that part of me “click," but I know it didn’t happen until I was about 15 years old.

 

Was it hard to come out?

It has not been super difficult with those I opened up to, but I won’t lie, not everyone knows yet - including both of my parents.

I recently wrote a blog post talking about my sexual orientation and "coming out" because I felt it was easier to write than it was to put in words. And despite the fact that most of my family members are still kept in the dark, I willing shared the post to Facebook. Right when I posted it, I couldn't help but hide the post from my parents. Part of me realizes that their opinion does not matter and I also don't even think they would be upset...but I just have not felt ready to address it with them yet, and you know what? That's okay.

 

Have you faced any negative judgement? If so, how did it make you feel and how did you handle it?

Fortunately, I haven’t faced much scrutiny. I think part of that has to do with the fact that I've always had boyfriends and haven't publicly been with women.

But, a frequent thing I hear is that bisexuals are merely "fetishizing" the same sex, and that we don't actually find ourselves romantically interested in them - this really bothers me.

If you date a woman, you are lesbian. If you date a man, you are straight. People want black and white answers and they have a hard time understanding that you can be bisexual while just dating a man or just dating a women.

It is frustrating when someone tries to tell you that your feelings are wrong and certainly isn't fair because no one has the right to take your feelings away from you. No one can tell you how you feel - only you know how you feel. And in my own experience, I have been sexually and romantically interested in both genders. Sometimes it's just one of those feelings and sometimes it's both. It changes, but it's never wrong.

 

Do you identify as bisexual?

I do identify as bisexual. For the longest time, I told myself there wasn’t enough evidence nor did I have enough experience to say that I was. But, I have since grown to understand that there is no specific definition I need to follow. I like men and I like women, regardless of who I’ve been with and who I am with now.

 

Knowing that you are engaged, how does your fiance feel about you exploring your sexuality with women?

He has been very supportive of my exploration in women. I told him from the beginning that it was something I was interested in and he was completely open to the idea of letting me experience that. The reason this is entirely possible is because we have a great communication skills with each other. We communicate our needs,  yet set clear boundaries so that we both feel safe in the relationship.

 

Have you always felt confident in your sexuality? If not, how did you get there?

It’s been a process, but in the last few months, I have become more accepting and comfortable with owning my sexuality. I realized that it is just as factual as the color of my hair. It’s not an extension of me - this mega-secret that no one should know. It’s just a factual piece of information. I have green eyes. I love wine. I sleep a lot. I like women and I like men, too. That's it - there is no hidden or negative meaning behind it.

 

What is one thing you have done that has helped you feel more confident in your body during intimate moments with your partner?

Intimacy has always been a struggling of mine, but there have been a few things I've put into practice that has allowed things to flow easier for me.

The first being that I prefer encounters start slower rather than rushed. I like to feel physically connected not only with my partner but with myself.

The second being that I feel sexiest if I am fresh and moisturized while wearing my silk robe. I also find that aroma therapy with scents of rose petals and lavender helps get me in the mood.

The last is that I feel most confident if I am direct and honest with my wants and needs.

 

What advice would you give to someone who is curious, but feels shameful about exploring their sexuality?

I say just go for it. If you want to try it, try it! With that said, I think it's important to factor in two major things:

The first, it's still sex so practice safe sex. The second, when you are figuring out your sexuality, feelings can still get hurt.

It is always important to remember that no matter what you’re doing or who you’re doing it with, it is crucial to be open and honest so that clear intentions are set. Be upfront and be truthful - even when it's difficult. But most importantly, have some fucking fun.


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Becca is a 23 year old from Columbus, OH. She has always had an interest in psychology, especially with adolescence.

When she isn’t watching a crime series, you can find her singing around the kitchen cooking dinner and online shopping. Becca enjoys wine nights, makeup, and time to cuddle with her kitten.

Instagram: @labeeuhtriixx

Blog: https://wordsthoughtsstuff.wordpress.com/