Mindset // Mental Health

Three Ways to Practice Body Acceptance

Do I love my stretch marks and cellulite? No, I don’t love them—I also don’t hate them. I just accept them and I’m okay with the fact that they’re there.

Self love and body acceptance doesn't exactly mean loving every single part of your body. And this might catch you by surprise because it seems to go against everything that love and acceptance stands for—but it’s not.

It’s not about learning to love and romanticize over something you don’t like. It’s about normalizing it, accepting it for what it is and not letting it define you.

Instead of trying to “love” something you don’t love, try this instead:

1. Bring awareness to it without judging it or linking it to a negative meaning. If you see cellulite, call it for what it is, rather than saying something like: gross, disgusting, ugly. Keep it at cellulite without the self sabotaging story attached to it.

2. Normalize it and accept it for what it is. Remind yourself that rolls, folds, and dimples are just normal things that your body creates.

3. Don’t attach it to your worth. It doesn’t deem you as unworthy and it doesn’t represent your beauty. These things are apart of your body, but they certainly don’t define it.



For more tools on body acceptance, click here to take my FREE body confidence course.

Love,

Devi

Why You Should Cry in Public

I’d be lying if I said moving across the country has been easy, or if I said, “I’m fine.” Because it hasn’t been easy. And I’m not fine.

The day I left the greatest city in the world, and even the week leading up to my departure, I’ve been sitting in pain. In the discomfort. In the unease because of the entirety of the situation.

I’ve cried myself to sleep. And I’ve even allowed myself to cry in the taxi. At the airport. On the plane. At the beach. It doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with—I let it come pouring out. I refuse to play pretend because to lie to you, but especially to lie to myself, would be denying what’s true for me. What’s real for me. What’s taking place inside me.

Nothing right now feels okay, and to experience that feeling IS okay.

I’m not here to live by the “only positive vibes” motto, because quite frankly, it’s bullshit. I’m here for the bad vibes. For the sad vibes. For the negative vibes. And for the painful vibes, too.

I’m here to express and embody the full spectrum of emotions we as human beings can experience. And should experience.

It’s not healthy to suppress what’s coming up for you. To deny yourself the experience to feel whatever is bubbling below the surface is to deny yourself the process of healing and the opportunity to grow.

Feel whatever you’re feeling without judgement, or resistance, or denial. Show up with it. Sit with it. Question it. Ask why it’s here and what it’s here to teach you.

Walk through the wilderness of discomfort, because it’s a vital part of your expansion.

And remember—it’s all ephemeral.

With so much love,

Devi

Dear Victoria Secret, Lack of Diversity is a Problem.

I was 15 years old when I became infatuated with the models from the VS Fashion Show.

I wanted to look like them. Be like them.

And so obviously, I did everything I could to achieve my desire. I vividly remember typing into Google, “Adriana Lima’s and Miranda Kerr’s diet and workout routine.”

I followed the plans strictly, and yet it never worked. My body got smaller, but it definitely didn’t morph into a replica of a VS angel.

As a result, I moved into heavier extremes. Dangerous ones even. From eating *just* baby food to eating nothing at all (or at least trying not to).

Again, never actualizing the body I dreamed of no matter how hard I tried. I was frustrated and filled with deep hatred toward myself and my body.

“Why can’t my body just look like them?”

I had no real understanding of anatomy at the time. I couldn’t comprehend no matter how hard I tried, my build and genetic make-up are completely different. And for so long, I thought those differences made me unworthy.

But at the root of it all, while the misunderstanding of anatomy certainly factored in, it was more about the lack of diversity I saw as a young girl. I didn’t see other bodies being celebrated; I only saw one.

If I wanted to be beautiful and worthy—I was conditioned to believe I had to look like an angel. And it saddens me that even to this day, Victoria Secret refuses to diversify the company. You’d think a company that has so much power would want to help change that narrative—not continue to enable it.

While they’re under no obligation to do so, saying the reason not to is because the show is a “fantasy” supports that fucked up narrative. And in a real way, dehumanizes so many of us.

Despite being extremely disappointed in the company, I’m proud to see people vocalize against it and stand together on this.

We’re all worthy of being celebrated. Every size, every shape, every color, every identity.


I love you,

Devi


WANT TO LEARN HOW TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN YOUR BODY AS IT IS? CLICK HERE AND TAKE MY FREE BODY CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE.

Relinquish and Come This Way

I’m giving you permission. Permission to relinquish the thing(s) that are no longer serving you—or perhaps never were.

The stories. The beliefs. The people. All the things causing you an unbearable amount of pain.

Release your grip.
Lay it down.
Let it go.

I know. Sometimes 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 easier to cradle the suffering. Easier because it can be used as an excuse. Used as a way to attach to the narratives you perpetually feed into. Used to get out of taking responsibility. Used to blame. Used to point.

Used to avoid change and growth, for the sake of familiarity and uncertainty.

But your resistance to give it up is the very reason the fire grows bigger. Stronger. More intense. It’s the reason everything is crumbling and burning to ash. Keeping it only fuels the fire.

You don’t need to spiral down the path of ongoing misery.

Relinquish and come this way. Hold my hand and join me, my darling.

Let’s take radical responsibility and pick up our feet to walk into a new direction. Use our hands to write a different story. Use our awareness to detach and recreate entirely new beliefs.

Through this awakening, you and I will step into a space full of freedom, bliss, and serenity.

Are you ready for beauty to blossom?

If you’re ready to live an Empowered life, click here and walk with me. I’ll hold your hand and show you the way.

Talk soon,

Devi

Four Ways to Stay Motivated and Hold Yourself Accountable

“BUT HOW DO I STAY MOTIVATED?”

You don’t.

Sometimes you’ll be motivated, and sometimes you won’t. That’s the reality of motivation, it sporadically shows up and vanishes within a second.

I know you’re familiar with this inevitable truth, because you’ve perpetually found yourself saying, “Ehh. I don’t feel like it today.” only a couple days after saying, “I’m so motivated to crush this!”

Motivation is without a doubt the most unreliable source to depend on; it’s capricious by nature and the lifespan is quite unpredictable and usually ephemeral.

This, my darling, this is why you need more than than just your aspiration to succeed—you need accountability. Something or someone to hold you responsible—especially on the days you don’t feel like it.

Because, lets face the obvious, it doesn’t matter how much you want something, there will be days—even weeks—when you don’t want to put in the work to get that something.

So, yeah, accountability.

Here’s how you can create it:

ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER:

There’s something powerful about having someone in your corner, giving you that little nudge to take action. To put in the work. To do the damn thing.

Rather that someone is just sending you a daily text or actually doing the work with you—it becomes seemingly easier to do it with someone by your side.

I know for me, working out with someone, as opposed to doing the whole solo thing is far more easier and enjoyable.

Two is better than one.

HIRE A COACH:

Hiring a coach is one of the best investments you can make for innumerable reasons. The investment itself holds you accountable, because if you’re like the majority, you don’t want your money to go to waste. And in addition to that, you’re coach is checking in with you and helping you create a plan of execution when you’re in the midst of turbulence.

All and all, they keep you on track and help you proceed with purpose.

ANNOUNCE IT TO THE PUBLIC

You’re more likely to follow through when you tell various people what you’re working toward. It’s called the power of social expectations.

This is why starting a fitness IG account or simply proclaiming your goals on social media is such an impactful weapon.

You see, it isn’t that you’re saying your goal—it’s that you’ve declared it to the public and now you have people watching you—people who aren’t you and that’s important.

You’re drive is automatically heightened when other people are involved. You don’t want to let them down and you certainly don’t want to look like a failure.

CREATE AN INCENTIVE

Rewards make you work harder to get what you want. And sure, while the end goal is, in a way, the reward—having little incentives along the way to complete those mundane tasks is certainly persuasive.

This could be daily, weekly, or even monthly rewards. They can be both small or big.

Lulu Lemon leggings always convince me. It’s my own form of manipulation to get anything done.

There you have it. Four effective ways to help you get shit done when you don’t feel like it.

xx

Devi

How I Overcome an Eating Disorder & Body Dysmorphia - Podcast With Fitfluential

In this interview with FitFluential, I discussed how I overcame an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. Tune in to hear my story and the tools I used to work through it by listening to the link below.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How my parents raised me and how I got into fitness.
  • The moment that made me realize I needed to change.
  • How I felt every day when I still had an eating disorder.
  • Why being too strict about your fitness is mentally damaging.
  • My binge-triggers and how I recovered from it.
  • Why I stopped doing cardio.
  • My thoughts on body type trends and acceptance.

Key Takeaways:

  • When you find what makes you happy, it’s a million times easier to stick to it.
  • Stressing over your health and fitness is still stress.
  • We’re relying too much on other people’s external validations.

Is Father's Day Difficult For You, Too?

I haven’t talked to my biological father in about 5 years—by choice.

Choosing something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easier—sometimes it makes even harder. You begin to question things like:

“Was that the right decision?”

“Am I just being stubborn?”

“Should I practice forgiveness?”

These are all things I’ve contemplated and tried moving through over the course of the separation.

I think about my father…every, single, day. Usually it’s just a thought that pops up for only a minute, but occasionally I get lost in the thought—especially on holidays, but more specifically on a day like yesterday; a day that is dedicated to celebrating fathers.

Father’s Day is easily one of the toughest days of the year for me. It consists of pain, letdown and heartache.

There is this notion that claims over time things get easier, because time allows opportunity for you to forget, to heal, and to move forward. That hasn’t been the case for me—it’s honestly grown to be harder.

Yesterday, I decided to distract myself by keeping busy; I thought staying preoccupied would prevent me from falling into emotional misery. But the minute I stepped foot in my apartment after being gone all day, it hit me—my body started to shake, anxiety was trapped in my chest, and breathing felt difficult. Thoughts started racing in my head and I’d get lost in every single one of them.

Did he think about me today? I wonder what his thoughts were if he did. Was he angry? Was he sad?

Did he feel the urge to call me? Did he even want to hear from me? Did he want me to call him? Or did he want me to leave him in peace?

How is he doing? What’s new in his life? Is he happy?

What would our relationship look like now? Would he be proud of me? Or would he feel the same way he’s always felt...disappointed and ashamed?

I know I can easily find out the answers if I just pick up the phone and dial his number, but I can’t muster up the courage to do so—it’s too triggering, too scary, too complicated.


And I’m just not ready to face it.


This is easily the most vulnerable piece I’ve ever written for the world to read, mainly because I am terrified he will read it. I’m not writing this for sympathy. I’m writing this because I know that some of you have a similar relationship with your father or your mother or even both and to let you know that I understand how heavy these days can be for you.

I want you to know that whatever you’re feeling, it’s not wrong.

Don’t beat yourself up about how you feel because it’s allowed to be hard. It’s okay that you feel anger, grief and despair. It’s okay that you’re too scared to call, to hear their voice, to have the conversation.

Let yourself experience those feelings and acknowledge those thoughts instead of shoving them down and ignoring them. Because sometimes, throwing your face into a pillow and shredding to tears makes you feel one percent better. It did for me yesterday, and I believe it can for you, too.

I understand some of your pain and I’m holding space for you through this difficult time.

I love you,

Devi

Are Negative Thoughts Normal?

Do you feel like when you’re wearing a bikini, your insecurities tend to cloud over you? Your thoughts are preoccupied with how you look rather than how much fun you’re having (or could be having)? You think things like...

 “I look gross”
“Her body is better than mine”
“I don’t want to take my clothes off”

What if I told you that all these thoughts are harmless? And they don’t have to hold power over you?

What most “self love gurus” don’t tell you is that negative thoughts will come up—and that’s okay.

A thought is just thought; you will have weird ones, silly ones, positive ones, uncomfortable ones, and negative ones.

But these thoughts will only affect you when you get lost in them—when you attach yourself to the story and believe it as true.

But, you are not your thoughts. Don’t latch on to them, don’t let them control you and don’t let them take momentum.

You deserve to frolic around in your bikini without a single concern about your appearance, because your body is not wrong. There is absolutely nothing to worry about.

Drink your marg out of a red solo cup (because glass in water is dangerous - duh) and lounge around on inflatable tubes.

Have fun, relax, and stop giving fucks about things that aren’t worth giving a fuck about.

XX

Devi


Do you want more body confidence tips? Click here to join my FREE body confidence course.

 

4 Mistakes To Avoid When You're Trying To Overcome An Eating Disorder

Trying to beat an eating disorder is painfully difficult and extremely exhausting.

I know this because I fought the battle myself.

I spent years actively trying to fight an eating disorder, and without even realizing it I was sabotaging my ability to conquer it. I came up with what seemed like valid solutions, but the reality was it only exacerbating it.

These four things seem to be a common theme that many people involve in their recovery, and ones that I personally think make everything all the more challenging.

I want to preference this by saying I am not a doctor or registered dietitian. I have no intent on curing or healing your eating disorder — nor am I qualified to do so. I am speaking on behalf of my own personal story and sharing my insights that helped me that might help you.


ANOTHER DIET IS NOT THE ANSWER.

When you’re trying to overcome an eating disorder, the last thing you need to do is follow another diet. Dieting itself is the number one contributing factor to the development of disordered eating in the first place.

Trying to heal your relationship with food by creating yet another filter of what you can and can’t eat is like trying to put out fire with gasoline. Another diet is not going to “fix” your eating disorder — it’s going to enable it.

In my experience, I latched on to this notion that I just needed to find different rules and guidelines I can adhere to it in hope to gain control. But an eating disorder is much deeper than just being able to have willpower around food. It’s a mask that disguises your insecurities, your pain and your suffering.

Recovery involves the unpacking of why and how it developed to begin with. It’s addressing the underlying issue and dismantling through all the narratives that are robbing you from feeling normal around food and in your body.

And while I don’t know what that exactly looks like for you, some questions that might be helpful to begin this process are:

Do I use food as a way to cope with my emotions? If so, what is a more productive and positive coping mechanism that I can implement in as an outlet for my emotions?

Do I follow diets because I’ve attached my worth to the way my body looks?

What triggers the behavior or episodes to happen?

JUDGING YOURSELF.

The worst thing you can do when you’re actively trying to work on overcoming an eating disorder is judge yourself when you feel triggered and give in. Punishing yourself for your actions doesn’t actually solve or fix anything — it just makes you feel worse.

Which leads into another important thing to remember: you are going to slip up. You can not attach yourself to perfection. This entire journey is full of disarray; it is imperfect and it is messy.

Being “perfect” about your recovery doesn’t minimize your problems, it magnifies them. And although perfection at the surface seems like the solution to succeeding and beating this battle, it’s that exact notion that holds you back from moving forward.

Instead of being hard on yourself about something that is already hard, give yourself more ease. Lead with compassion and understanding. Remind yourself that it’s okay and this is apart of the journey. Celebrate your wins and how far you’ve gotten. If you went from binging every single day to only once a week — that is a huge step. Acknowledge it.

And rather than setting the expectation to be perfect, give yourself permission to fuck up and then learn from your fuck ups.

What caused this to happen? What can you do next time to help prevent this from happening again?

STEPPING ON THE SCALE AFTER A BINGE…OR AT ALL.

The scale is just another puzzle piece to the problem. It’s part of the reason you are here in the first place and it’s that very thing that triggers you to pursue unhealthy behaviors.

Do not let a numerical fraction hold power of you. You are not an arbitrary number, baby girl. You are so much more than that.

Break up with the scale. It’s a toxic relationship and it’s not serving you. And while I know breakups are never easy, I promise that the minute you cut the scale out of your life you will start to feel less obsessed and more empowered.

And if you’re having a difficult time cutting the strings, at least take space from it for 30 days. You can do it.

THINKING YOU HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE OR THAT YOU ARE ALONE.

I assume that you’re eating disorder developed in private and you more than likely kept it that way (or at least tried to). You continue to hide it because you feel ashamed and embarrassed. Or, because you came up with some justification as to why you shouldn’t reveal it because deep down you want to hold on to it — because you’re not ready to let go of it.

I get it and I understand it because I did that very thing. And I know how scary it is to share this part of your life, but don’t stay quite — speak up and ask for help. Get the treatment and help you need to cure it.

Start with someone you trust, someone who makes you feel safe and is willing to support you through this battle.

And darling, know that you are not alone—you are never alone.


You are strong and I am here for you.

I love you,

Devi

Choose People Who Choose You

The people you surround yourself with matter.

They can tear you apart, stomp on your confidence, damage your self esteem, try to mold you into something you’re not, shame you for who you are, and spit you out making you feel like you were worth nothing.

I’ve been there. I know what that feels like.

And the magical thing is that you have a choice. You can either keep choosing someone like that, or you can choose someone who:

Heightens your confidence.
Accepts all the quirkiness.
Never puts pressure on you and allows you to make decisions when you’re ready.
Gives you reassurance when you need it most.
Encourages you to do things you’re afraid of, but you know it’s necessary.
Makes you feel safe, especially in your most vulnerable states.
Helps you unpack your own insecurities and never judges you for them.
Reminds you of how much you have to offer the world.
Inspires you to be better.
Empowers you to show up living your truth.
Opens up space for you with nothing but compassion.
Lets you own the fuck out of who you are and never shames you for it.
Buys you Reese’s Cups—not mandatory, but definitely a bonus.

Most importantly, someone who chooses you, for you and never tries to change you. Because darling, you deserve that and nothing less.

You are not under any obligation to stay in a relationship—it is all but a choice.

You don't just hangout with someone, you choose to hangout with someone. You choose to spend your time investing in someone. You choose to be around them and let them be around you.

So take a moment to carefully examine each relationship in your life. Ask yourself:

Do I have to keep my guard up? Or do I feel safe?

Do I show up being my most authentic self? Or do I hide under a mask?

Do they push me to be better? Or shame me instead?

Do they encourage me to play big? Or keep me small?

Do you feel happy the majority of the time? Or sad?

Do they enhance my life? Or detract from it?

Do they invest in our relationship? Or am I the only one putting in effort?

Do they speak truth? Or do they lie?

Do they heighten my confidence? Or belittle me?

Do they add value to my life?

These are all serious questions to consider.

And I want to preference this by saying I know that severing relationships is never easy, but your life will flourish in a myriad of ways when you start choosing people who choose you. So choose wisely and choose carefully.

XO

Devi