Self Love

Can You Love Your Body and Still Want to Change it?

You can accept your body right now and still want to make changes to it. These two are not mutually exclusive. As a matter of fact, if both are applied simultaneously magic happens.

When you operate from a place of self-acceptance and self-compassion, changing your body becomes easier than ever, because you take care of what you love.

The misconceived notion that self-acceptance and self-love equates to laziness or stagnation is a silly concept. Neglecting your health and the myriad of other things that embody self-care is not a reflection of love.

When you love your body, you treat it with the upmost care and respect. This encompasses both speaking kindly to yourself and doing the very things that nourish it—working out, eating healthy, getting proper sleep—that whole thing.

So yes, it’s okay to want change, there’s just a fine line between where the desire to change is derived from.

If you want to change your body because you think being leaner will somehow make you more worthy of love, success, connection, confidence, and belonging—that’s a massive problem, because it’s morbidly untrue.

But when you want to change your body to improve the quality of your life OR simply because you fucking want to (hello autonomy) it’s a completely different story.

Hating your body lean doesn’t work, or at least never ends in a happy fairy tale. Cut that shit out and watch how much easier it is to make those desired alterations.

xx

Devi

The Scale is Preventing You From Seeing Progress

Here’s what I don’t want: You to spend your time, standing on the scale—anxious—waiting for it to give you validation or approval that you’ve progressed. Letting it take full power and control and define what you’re doing.

This device—an evil one, truly—can drain your inner peace and sink you into the depths of crippling self-deprecation. Any good feeling, or any ounce of pride can be sucked right out of you. And the more you feed into this cycle, the more it will make you feel something like itself—unimportant.

The scale is unimportant. Unimportant to your journey. Unimportant to your life. Unimportant to your progress.

There are a myriad of ways to track your progressions, and the scale isn’t the best method. It’s too deceiving to trust. Your weight will fluctuate daily due to your hormones, stress, water retention, sleeping patterns, muscle growth, and the various other factors that can affect change. It’s also very common for you to lose body fat, without dropping a single pound.

In addition to that, the scale tends to mislead you into playing a very dark game—the number game.

I’ve played this game once before. And it wasn’t fun. I became so blinded by the numbers, I let those numbers subtract from my worth and define the entirety of my existence and successes. It triggered unhealthy behaviors—the negative self talk, the excessive exercise, and the restrictive dieting.

I don’t want that for you.

I don’t want you to get beaten up from this game. But what I do want, is for you to conceptualize something really important: a number is just a number.

And the more you realize that, understand that—the more freedom you will have and the more progress you will see. You will become highly aware of all the ways you’re changing and growing because you’re not letting a silly numerical fraction be the deciding factor anymore.

Instead, you’re honing your intuition, focusing on how you feel, and celebrating every non-scale victory your making. The important shit.

So, stop putting all your attention on this malicious tool. Adapt new tools—better tools—to track your progress. Got it, baby girl?

xx

Devi

Is Working With a Coach *Really* Worth The Investment?

To be completely honest, I never saw the value in the investment to work with a coach. Why should I spend my dollars on someone when I have access to the resources I need right at my finger tips?

If I was uncertain, I could just type my question into the Googs and like magic—the solution appears. It’s fairly easy to learn the best methods and even stumble upon programs without spending a dime because all you need is the internet.

But is that really all you need? Just the information?

Here’s the thing: I had the information I needed to propel me forward, and yet, I was still running in circles, never actualizing my desires. And I’m sure you’re in a similar boat right now. You continue to convince yourself over and over you can figure it out on your own, but you find yourself still stuck.

Why is that?

Lack of information isn’t the problem, clearly. It’s the lack of accountability and support—the important fundamentals to achieving success. You need support. You need accountability. And you can’t provide either of those things on your own.

Once I realized that, I made a two thousand dollar investment for business coaching and it was one of the best decisions I made. For myself. For my sanity. And for my business.

And I know, making a hefty investment is petrifying—this is a valid feeling to experience—trust me, making the investment myself put me at the edge of my seat. But the value is there—and it’s worthy every penny.

Working with a coach will save you time, give you clarity, direction, and prevent you from experiencing the grief you go through when you’re on your own. You’ll have someone holding your hand and giving you a nudge when you’re not motivated—which is a lot more than you think. And most importantly, when you face the treacherous waters (and you will), you’ll have someone to help you sail out of the storm into the calm parts of the sea.

…so yeah, maybe the expense is worth it after all, don’t you agree?

Now, what you decide to do with this information is up to you. But, if you are ready to reach your greatest potential faster and with more ease—click HERE and apply to work with me.

Let’s fucking do this, babe.

xx

Devi

You Can't Afford to Put Yourself Last Anymore

Admittedly, I know how uncomfortably difficult it can be to use your voice to declare boundaries.

And it’s no surprise as to why.

All the conditioning from the patriarchal culture has influenced women to fall into the role of being the caretaker—to please and serve everyone in a way that forcefully demands you to self-neglect. You’ve been taught to sacrifice your needs in order to serve others. To put yourself last, and everyone else first, because somehow their needs are considered far more important than your own.

And when you do decide to say no—the world gasps.

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘺!?”

You’re shamed, judged, and questioned the minute you stand up for yourself. And all of it makes you feel wrong, so you find yourself dismissing what you said.

This is profoundly problematic, of course. But it explains why you, me, all of us women experience discomfort and resistance when it comes to setting boundaries.

The challenge is real, it’s valid, and I understandably get your struggle. But you can’t keep abiding to this. You simply cannot afford to put yourself last anymore. It’s not serving you and it’s working against you in every way imaginable.

It’s time to draw the line.

To stop saying yes when you mean no.

To build unbreakable walls that protect the things you just won’t fucking tolerate and autonomously decide what those things are.

To stop surrendering to someone else’s desires instead of your own.

Stand powerfully in your agency, baby girl.

Start right now. Start with something small, something easy and progress. I promise with each no, it gets seemingly easier.

xx

Devi

Your Feelings Have Something to Tell You

It’s haunting you. It consistently shows up in the face of the dark, knocking—aggressively, loudly, and repeatedly at your door.

And there you are, shaking, absolutely petrified. Instead of opening the door to face the the very thing that keeps coming back, you lay there, paralyzed. Plugging your ears. Trying to ignoring its existence.

It starts to seep into your body. Trembling your bones. Trapping itself, uncomfortably in your chest. Gripping you so tightly, you begin to suffocate.

You wish it away, but it stays, consuming you.

Perhaps, my love, this dark presence is not here to scare you, but to serve you. Maybe, just maybe, your resistance to face it is the exact reason it remains.

It’s knocking louder and louder because it has an important message to deliver. It so desperately has something to tell you.

I want you to open the door and let it reveal its truth.

Because whatever visitor is haunting you—anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, emptiness—it’s purposefully placed in your life to serve you.

I promise. It’s presence is its way of loving you.

The reason it tightly grips on to you is to constantly remind you that you need to listen to it. It’s causing you immense discomfort in hope that you’ll eventually move from where you are because it wants to reorder your life.

All it wants is to help you. To support you. To show you that there’s work to be done in your life. That something in your life right now is stealing you away from freedom and joy. Something isn’t in alignment.

Don’t be afraid of it. Open the door—feel it, face it, talk to it. It’s arrived to support your expansion and guide you to your hearts deepest desires.

There’s light masked under the darkness. Unmask it.

With love,

Devi

Life Will Do Whatever The F*ck it Wants to You

Life will do whatever the fuck it wants to you, and sometimes those uncontrollable outcomes are undesirable.

Things are going unravel and unfold exactly the way they’re supposed to and sometimes, you’re going to fucking hate it.

You have two options:

You can either play victim and attach to the story of, “it wasn’t supposed to be this way.”

OR.

You can see these undesirable and often painful outcomes as an opportunity for growth. As a tool to learn. As the mapping to your higher, divine self.

Expansion, if you will ✨

Because maybe, just maybe these things are working for you—not against you.

Perhaps this pain, this muck, this shitty situation is just a disguise for something beautiful to flourish.

I choose option two, how about you?

Devi

Sex With The Lights On - Podcast Interview with Marie Wold

In this podcast with Marie Wold on The Grind & Be Grateful Podcast, I dive into the reasons women feel insecure in their bodies and how to overcome it. I get deep about body image, sex, and personal experiences I’ve had. Tune in to hear my story and learn tools on how to feel more confident in your body and in the bedroom.

Website: https://www.grindandbegratefulpodcast.com/

Marie’s Instagram: @MarieeWold

SHOW NOTES:

  • Who is Devon Day? (7:57)

  • Idolizing unrealistic body types (9:30)

  • Food as a form of fuel and nourishment (12:10)

  • Empowering yourself with your experiences (13:37)

  • What’s keeping us trapped in our lack of confidence and self-acceptance (14:55)

  • The stories we tell ourselves (15:25)

  • Bringing awareness to self-limiting and self-sabotaging beliefs (15:40)

  • “You don’t have to take these stories to heart, and you don’t have to let them hold power over you” … “You have the power to re-write the script” (17:05)

  • Thoughts are just thoughts (17:46)

  • “Find where your insecurity is coming from, unpack the belief, and shift the narrative” (20:20)

  • “How boring would it be if we all looked the same?” (21:50)

  • “Nobody laughs the same as us, or smiles the same as us…” (22:09)

  • The Jealousy Cycle / Comparison Game  (23:10)

  • The difference between admiration and jealousy (24:10)

  • Sex With the Lights On (25:17)

  • “So many of us let our insecurities be our identity; you have insecurities, but you aren’t your insecurities” (26:55)

  • “We are conditioned to feel insecure about our insecurities” (28:16)

  • Porn – why we should NOT use it as a too to learn about sex  (30:25)

  • Let’s Talk about sex (32:55)

  • “We all have that inner mean girl…” (33:10)

  • Normalizing our bodies (34:10)

  • Silencing the noise; – being aware of our thoughts through meditation (34:40)

  • Roles – addressing and challenging stereotypes (36:55)

  • Communicating with our partners (38:10)

  • “Vulnerability helps us connect with people even deeper…”

  • Directing and validating others (40:38)

  • Vulnerability gets easier over time (42:36)

  • “Sex doesn’t always flow so seamlessly” (44:48)

  • Where to find Devon’s Guide, Sex With the Lights On (45:45)

  • One thing Devon is currently grinding for & grateful for (46:20)

What Happened When I Entered a Polyamorous Relationship

In January of 2018, I started dating not one, but two people. I entered into a polyamorous relationship with an established couple. We became what’s a triad: a configuration in which all three of us were dating each other, equally.

The relationship was unconventional, and beautiful, and challenging. But I loved it, even the messiness of it. I loved it so much, I decided to pack my bags in Ohio—the place I lived since the day I was born—to move to NYC to live with them.

That decision set off a cascade of events. There was almost never a humdrum moment. Some of it was joyful. Some of it was painful. All of it was awakening.

I really didn’t know what I was getting into, but, I mean...do we ever? 🤷‍♀️

It worked for awhile. And then it didn’t. One person left. And then there were two. That worked awhile. And then it didn’t.

I often credit NYC for breaking me open—and don’t get me wrong, it did. But, fuck, these two people broke me open in more ways than anything in my life ever has.

When I reflect back on how I’ve changed this past year, those changes all track back to them and my decision to be with them. They were highlight and very much the center of my 2018.

They pushed me in ways I needed, including the ones I wasn’t aware I needed. They loved me so much, it made ME love me so much. They showed me the world with a different lens. And through that lens, I saw things more clearly and with greater understanding. It brought questions. And lessons. It stretched me. It transformed me.

Devon then compared to Devon now isn’t remotely the same.

She’s smarter. She’s braver. She’s stronger. She’s bisexual. She’s monoga-mish. She’s sluttier (but with strong boundaries). She’s unapologetic. She’s weirder. She’s sillier. She’s louder.

She knows what she wants and asks for it, even when trepidation sits inside her. She operates from her own agency, standing powerfully in her autonomy.

She’s shifted into an entirely new way of being—something brighter.

And so much more herself.

And fuck, she is ever grateful. I’m grateful for them and everything they brought. 2018 was a was a life altering experience and a year I’ll never forget.

Thank you 2018. I’m ready to harness this potent power, this magic, this new way of being in 2019.

Happy New Year.

Love,

Devi

Why You Shouldn't Compare Yourself

𝖧𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖫𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖳 𝖱𝖤𝖤𝖫 ➡️ 𝖡𝖤𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖣 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖲𝖢𝖤𝖭𝖤𝖲

38862495_2014003245328514_509351016425062400_n.jpg

Social media captures only a glimpse of what someone is willing to show you, but completely abandons everything else. You don’t get to see what goes on behind closed doors.

You get to see:
A perfect life.
A perfect body.
A perfect partner.

You don’t get to see:
The disarray.
The insecurities.
The arguments.

Blemishes are concealed. And while people are completely entitled to their privacy and under no obligation to disclose the messiness of their life—it’s so easy to forget that THAT does go on.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in believing someone actually lives a perfect life when all you see is perfectionism.

And this is why self confidence feels beyond your reach—you surrender to something that doesn’t exist. As a result, you’re robbed from your confidence and your worth because you’ll always be imperfect.

But, my darling, those imperfections don’t define you—they just make you human, like the rest of us.

No one, absolutely NO ONE, has their shit together. Your life, my life, her life. It’s completely chaotic, disorganized, and flawed—even though you don’t see it.

So, be conscious of what you’re consuming. Question the realness of it. And don’t compare yourself to people’s filtered lives...or at all.

Keep doing your thang, keep doing your best. Radiate in your beauty—it’s pretty bright, you’re pretty bright and your flaws don’t dim that light.

Love,

Devi

Severing Friendships As You Evolve

Like the moon, you will transform with each phase you go through. And there will be someone in your life—someone you even consider your closest and longest friend—who will absolutely hate your transformation.

The will shame you, judge you, reject you, and tell you your new way of being is “wrong.”

But it’s not. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵.

Different from what you once were, and that’s okay. You’re supposed to change—that’s concomitant with age, pain, lessons, experiences, and all the other various things in life that shift you.

Your beliefs, values, likes, dislikes, and views will evolve into something slightly or entirely new. And sometimes the newness will make or break a relationship, and this is a truth—a hard one—you must accept when it means the breaking of one.

Where you once both shared a profound connection—now, there’s only resentment, annoyance, conflict, and arguments due to your transition altering that.

You’re moving into a direction they don’t like or understand. And as a result, they attack you and you find yourself in defense mode or maybe even feeling guilty for something that feels right to you.

And yes, there are occasions where you both find resolution or step in a place of acceptance and all of the trouble eventually dissipates. But every so often, as I said, the relationship must come to an end.

You can’t continue or afford to hold and attach to relationships that keep you stagnant and stifle your growth. It must be severed in order to support your expansion.

So yes, as you change, sometimes that means a relationship must change, too. This is okay. It doesn’t make you wrong. It doesn’t even make them wrong. It just means you two are no longer in alignment.

Grow. Shed. Change. Evolve. It’s beautiful. It’s necessary. It’s needed.

Love,

Devi