Throughout most of life, our friends are chosen for us by virtue of proximity. As a child, your best friend is the kid next door. As a teenager, your friend group is mostly made up of people at your school. In college, you befriend the people who—by sheer happenstance—happen to be the same floor of your dorm.
After college, you become friends with people at work.
Proximity, repeated exposure, and familiarity form the basis of our early relationships—that’s what makes making friends easy. Your friends tend to stay in your life because you want them there, but gaining admittance was just luck of the draw.
Once you’re past all that, things change.
As an adult, you don’t have the same repeated exposure. If you want to build deep relationships with amazing people, you can’t rely exclusively on work or school or geography to create the opportunity to meet someone.
When I left Columbus for NYC, I was moving away from a familiar place full of a lifetime of friends to a new city with barely any.
And if you’ve never had to make new friends as an adult, let me assure you, it’s HARD. Especially when you’re self employed.
I had no specific hub where I might meet someone. I couldn’t just wait to meet someone at a coffee shop.
Adult friendships don’t just happen; you’ve got to be proactive about it.
So, I did the logical thing and hopped on Bumble BFF…
…which turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.
A few fateful swipes found me at a wine bar, sitting next to the amazing human, Cynthia.
And here’s the thing, with Bumble, you can meet someone once and never see them again. There’s no obligation or requirement—just pure choice. She isn’t in my life because of school or work, she’s in my life because she chose me and I chose her. And there’s so much beauty in that.
To fostering connections,