Taking Control of Anxiety Instead of Letting it Control You

“Shouldn’t you be, like, worried?”
“About what?”
“Omg you’re right!” 😰

^ A meme I saw about a conversation between you and anxiety.

If you struggle with anxiety—like myself—you’re familiar with how spot on that meme is.

Anxiety will lurk in the corner, sneak up on you, and take your breath away. Sometimes for reasons you can’t even pinpoint.

It just wanted to say hello and remind you that it still exists.

Oh, hello, anxiety. You again.

Dealing with anxiety on a regular basis is relatively new for me. It didn’t start happening until last year—around this time. And because it was somewhat foreign to me, I had absolutely no fucking idea what to do with it and how to deal with it. I’d walk around panicked, completely consumed, unable to process thoughts clearly, feeling like I was on the verge of breaking down.

And sometimes I did.

Can you relate? Crippling, isn’t it?

While anxiety still creeps up on me—pretty often, tbh—I finally discovered tools to help manage it when it does.

First, it‘s important decipher between what feeds it power and what actually helps it. In the past, feeling anxious instantly perpetuated thoughts of judgement:

Why am I anxious?
I don’t want to feel this way.
It’s not going away.
Omg. I’m so anxious!!!!

This only exacerbated it. Instead, I invite you to acknowledge its existence, without resistance.

From there, figure out what YOU need to feel grounded. Typically, anxiety comes from being energetically out of your body. The energy gets trapped in your chest, throat, and head space.

So, bring awareness to your lower body. Take deep belly breaths, feel into your legs, and wiggle your toes.

You’re breath is the most reliable and powerful tool to bring you back into body and the present moment.

The next time you’re feeling anxious: take a deep inhale for four seconds, pause for two, exhale for six, pause again for two, and repeat.

To Heal, You Must Feel

A few weeks ago, an unpleasant situation emerged that catalyzed a cascade of emotions:


And it all spiraled me into the depths of deep and utter sadness. 

Experiencing a range of uncomfortable and painful emotions in one day ain’t fun. It fucking sucks. But, these days do happen and these feelings do occur; not every day is going to be seamless and blissful—some days it’s going to full of disarray, chaos, and disharmony.

So, in the midst of the upheaval, I gave myself permission to express each emotion, without judgement. I screamed and yelled “𝐖𝐓𝐅!” at least five times. I stomped my feet, aggressively. And I shed to tears, numerous times throughout the day.

I sat in the discomfort. I felt each emotion—questioning them, taking time to understand them, figuring out where they’re coming from and what they’re rooted in. In doing so, I emptied myself from them, because to feel them is also to relinquish. From there, my next step in healing was to move forward; to not sit, cling, or stay in my suffering for too long. So, I asked myself, “𝙽𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍, 𝙳𝚎𝚟𝚘𝚗? 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝‘𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝟷% 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜?”

I took the day off. I called a friend. I watched comedy. I journaled. I sang. And I went to bed early.

Everyone’s healing process looks different. But I know one things for certain: to heal you must feel. Too often, we try to run away, numb, deny, or suppress. We think if we avoid it, it’s gone. But in reality, it’s living inside us. It’s bubbling below the surface and you’re carrying the weight of its heaviness.

Cut that shit out, my dear.

Open and unpack the baggage. You’ll feel lighter afterward. I promise.