dealing with your emotions

The Real Cause for Emotional Eating

Emotional eating has less to do with control, and has more to do with learning to process emotions.

For many, it’s the inability to allow ourselves to feel difficult emotions.

We’ve been conditioned to avoid pain. That if you’re experiencing some sort of disharmony—you need to ignore it, suppress it, and cover it up.

And so we adapt maladaptive coping mechanisms—food, drugs, alcohol, sex—anything that will numb what’s going on inside of us.

But these coping mechanisms don’t solve anything; they only distract us momentarily and temporarily, and then usually exacerbate everything and manifest into something bigger later on.

For example: in the case of emotional eating, you use food to numb, but after eating your feelings, your problem still exists, as do your emotions. And now, on top of that, you feel guilty and uncomfortable from eating too much.

Relate?

Part of disrupting this pattern and breaking up with this behavior is allowing yourself to lean into your emotions. To process them. To understand them. To feel them.

And sometimes feeling is uncomfortable.

AND THAT’S OKAY.

You’re allowed to feel hurt, insecure, sad, lonely, heartbroken, depressed, anxious, afraid, helpless, overwhelmed, nervous, jealous.

Bring awareness to what you’re feeling, without judgement attached.

Whatever’s coming up for you is valid, allowed to be seen, and just wants to be heard because it has something to tell you.

Your emotions are your friends. Even, when it hurts. They want to protect you. And the more you suppress them, the more they persist, because you’re ignoring what it desperately what’s you to know.

So, identify what the emotion is telling you and what the need is: comfort, security, love, connection, care, support, just space to breathe. And then address how you can fill those needs.

When you acknowledge what’s below the surface and allow it to move through, the discomfort eventually dissipates. Feel your feelings, boo—only then will you experience true liberation from it.

I’ll share more on this topic in a future post 🖤

How to deal with your emotions

The other day I was dealing with a whirlwind of emotions. So I decided to sit with my emotions and feel all the feels. This included sitting and doing nothing except crying and being angry for a straight hour. And guess what? That's perfectly okay because it's okay not to be okay. 

Ignoring your feelings is completely ineffective. It's important to let out your emotions and feel them rather than avoiding them by working more, staying busy or using food and alcohol as comfort. 

Trust me, I know it's not always easy to deal with what you are feeling, but it's absolutely necessary. I can tell you from past experiences, when I avoided my feelings or tried forgetting about it, it always ended up biting me in the ass down the road because those feelings would pop back up.

I want you to make the effort to be aware of your feelings and deal with them. Here are some tips on how to do that: 

1. Acknowledge your emotions 

Sometimes it an be difficult to understand what you are feeling so start by thinking of common emotions like anger, sadness, anxiety or disappointment. You might even be experiencing more than one emotion. Once you are aware of how you are feeling, you can begin to take the steps you need to in order to work through that emotion.

2. Sit with your emotions

What I mean by this is to feel those emotions. When you sit with your emotions you are allowing them to happen instead of resisting the urge to get rid of them.

It's important and crucial for you to put yourself first so you can deal with your emotions. Do what you need to do so that you can cope with what you are feeling. Even if that means taking the day off from work or just laying in bed all day to cry, you should give yourself permission to do so without feeling guilty about it. 

3. Validate your emotions

When you validate your emotions you accept them, you can understand them and you won't pass judgement for feeling them. Take the time to understand why you are feeling the way you are feeling, cut yourself some slack and realize that it's okay not to be okay. 

4. Work through your emotions  

Once you've experienced all the feels, work through the emotion. You need to understand why you are feeling the way you are and then think of how you can fix it. Depending on the situation, you may need to discuss your feelings with the person who hurt you or it might be something you have to learn to move on from because you can't change it.  

5. Do something positive 

Do something for yourself to help you cope with the pain you might be experiencing. As I mentioned before, a lot of us lean on food, alcohol or other unhealthy habits as a source of comfort so I want to encourage you to do something that is productive and positive. That could be taking a walk outside, talking to a friend or seeing a professional to help you through the situation. 


Sending lots of love to you and whatever you may be going through! I hope this helps you :) 

XO 

Devon Day