If you're in a relationship and the person does not value you, respect you, or make you happy, please do yourself a huge favor and remove yourself from them. This goes for a friend, significant other, or even a family member.
I know what you’re probably thinking, it’s a lot easier said than done or maybe you’re even thinking, “Devon, you aren’t a relationship expert” and both of those things are very true.
It is hard and I am not a relationship expert, but I am sharing this on the behalf of my own personal experiences and on something I strongly stand for - self love. You see, self love isn’t just about loving your body, it embodies far more than that.
Self love is a lot of things and part of it is knowing that you are worthy and deserving of a relationship that is established upon trust, honesty, respect, appreciation, encouragement and love. And the sad truth is, too many of us are settling for people who do the complete opposite of all of those things.
When we settle for toxic relationships, it makes us feel less and strips us away from being able to experience what love truly is.
Trust me, I know that you probably see a lot of potential in the person you are with or in your relationship. You love them or perhaps, you love the idea of what they could be. You are trying to work things out and show them how they can change.
But, here is something you need to learn, you can take a horse to a watering hole but you can't make them drink the water. In other words, you can't change a person, no matter how much effort you put into them, how hard you try to work things out or show them the way. They have to want to change and want to work things out in order for any progress/change to happen.
And keep this in mind, when I say that they have to want to change, I really mean that they have to want it for themselves, not just for you. It isn’t them telling you, “I am going to change” just so you will stay with them, please don’t mistake that. They have to want the change for themselves and put in the action steps to make that change.
I won’t be the first to tell you that there are plenty of fish in the sea - I know you’ve heard that before, but it’s true and if you’ve been in more than one relationship, you know this to be true.
It isn’t easy letting go of a relationship, no matter who it is or what the circumstance is. It’s fucking hard and it will bring heart ache. But aside from it being difficult and heartbreaking, a lot of good will come out of it too and I promise there is more to gain than to lose, such as finding a person that...
You can trust
Brings you happiness
Makes you a priority
Spends time with you
Takes care of you
Believes in you
Is kind to you
Makes you feel good about yourself
And loves you - wholeheartedly and unconditionally.
Last but not least, not only is this your opportunity to find a person that provides these qualities but most importantly you will gain self worth and self love.
So don't you dare settle for less.
With a whole lot of love,
PSSSTT... If you are going through a breakup or thinking about breaking up with someone, read this blog post on how to get through a breakup.