sex and confidence

Five Ways to Improve Your Masturbation Game

Happy National Mastυrbation Month! 💦 Here are five tips to up your mastυrbation game:

>> 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: pleasure doesn’t exist with pressure. Many of us put tooo much focus on reaching the ever-so-famous-orgαsm, which can often deter us from even reaching it. If you don’t experience an orgαsm, it’s cool, it’s fine, and it isn’t a failed experience.

Let’s reframe that way of thinking, because pleasure feels good, regardless. And when we heavily focus on this destination point, it detracts from the enjoyment of the journey.

>> 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲: focus on your senses, your breath, and how the pleasure makes you feel—not how you look, if it’s weird (it’s not), or the tasks you have to do tomorrow.

Be present. Whenever your mind races else where, come back to your breath.

>> 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐠𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧: there’s no “right way” to mastυrbate. Every women touches herself differently and requires different things. To discover what feels best for you, it’ll take exploration and trail & error.

Sex with Emily stated it perfectly, your vυlva is like an Rubik’s cube. It takes time to figure out.

>> 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲: don’t just touch your vυlva, touch all of you. Seduce yourself, and touch yourself the way you’d want a partner to touch you.

>> 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐲𝐬: you don’t 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 toys, but it does enhance your experience. My favorite toy company is Lelo.


Takeaway: explore, experiment, and most importantly, have fun 🤪

Your favorite slut,

Devi

Confession: I Like to Eat Food, Naked.

It was a December month in NYC, I decided to order Italian food in, rather than going out and having to face the brisk, cold air. While I waited for the delivery, I had sex with my then-partner because what’s better than food showing up after sex?

...but really, food post sex is the best—just saying.

I was sitting on the couch, completely naked, after devouring chicken parmesan.

And then, suddenly...it hit me.

How comfortable I felt in my body and how profoundly different that allowed me to show up.

I sat sprawled out, full belly and all—without self-deprecation. I could let every part of me be seen without the worry of what I looked like.

Years before this, eating while being naked or just being naked in general, wasn’t something I felt comfortable doing.

There’s this quote that says, “Need motivation to lose weight? Just eat in front of the mirror. Naked.“

When I first read that, I was a teenager and at the time, it seemed like great advice. Now, I understand how truly FUCKED up that quote is.

But that quote carried with me and played a massive role in how I felt in my skin. I believed my body wasn’t worthy of food, wasn’t worthy of love, wasn’t worthy of being seen in its rawest form...until I looked a certain way.

Yet, in that exact moment and even now, it’s not uncommon for me to get up from having sex, say, “I’m hungry,” and scurry off to the kitchen, naked, to eat.

What’s changed? I didn’t change my body, I changed my beliefs.

We go throughout our years believing our bodies are flawed and it traps us from experiencing some of life’s most precious gifts:

Love.
Sex.
Connection.
Intimacy.
Food.

You’ve been conditioned to think you’re flawed, but you’re not. The truth is the beliefs you attach to your body are flawed. And the wonderful thing is, you have the power to change those beliefs. You can pluck them from their roots and plant new.

You are worthy of love. Worthy of having orgasmic sex. Worthy of creating strong connections. Worthy of experiencing intimacy. Worthy of eating delicious food.

You don’t have to hustle to look a certain way in order to be worthy, to be seen, to be loved.

You’re worthy. Now and always.

Devi