sex with the lights on

Confession: I Like to Eat Food, Naked.

It was a December month in NYC, I decided to order Italian food in, rather than going out and having to face the brisk, cold air. While I waited for the delivery, I had sex with my then-partner because what’s better than food showing up after sex?

...but really, food post sex is the best—just saying.

I was sitting on the couch, completely naked, after devouring chicken parmesan.

And then, suddenly...it hit me.

How comfortable I felt in my body and how profoundly different that allowed me to show up.

I sat sprawled out, full belly and all—without self-deprecation. I could let every part of me be seen without the worry of what I looked like.

Years before this, eating while being naked or just being naked in general, wasn’t something I felt comfortable doing.

There’s this quote that says, “Need motivation to lose weight? Just eat in front of the mirror. Naked.“

When I first read that, I was a teenager and at the time, it seemed like great advice. Now, I understand how truly FUCKED up that quote is.

But that quote carried with me and played a massive role in how I felt in my skin. I believed my body wasn’t worthy of food, wasn’t worthy of love, wasn’t worthy of being seen in its rawest form...until I looked a certain way.

Yet, in that exact moment and even now, it’s not uncommon for me to get up from having sex, say, “I’m hungry,” and scurry off to the kitchen, naked, to eat.

What’s changed? I didn’t change my body, I changed my beliefs.

We go throughout our years believing our bodies are flawed and it traps us from experiencing some of life’s most precious gifts:

Love.
Sex.
Connection.
Intimacy.
Food.

You’ve been conditioned to think you’re flawed, but you’re not. The truth is the beliefs you attach to your body are flawed. And the wonderful thing is, you have the power to change those beliefs. You can pluck them from their roots and plant new.

You are worthy of love. Worthy of having orgasmic sex. Worthy of creating strong connections. Worthy of experiencing intimacy. Worthy of eating delicious food.

You don’t have to hustle to look a certain way in order to be worthy, to be seen, to be loved.

You’re worthy. Now and always.

Devi

What "Slut" Means to Me

I’m a slut and I’d like to expand on what that exactly means.

So...let’s start with this: 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒍𝒖𝒕,𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒘𝒂𝒚? To me, a slut is a term used to describe how a women shows up sexually, which can look different from person to person.

Let me explain:

Most people assume a slut is a woman who’s constantly on the prowl to get fucked and tends to have one night stands frequently. And sure, it 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 mean that. Some women LOVE novelty regularly, which is totally okay and cool and her preference.

But.

There’s also the woman who considers herself slutty, and yet, she absolutely hates one night stands (oh, hey. It’s me 🙋‍♀️). They’re sexually open, dress provocatively, and love to fuck. They just would rather spend quality time with someone and really get to know them before engaging in an interaction.

As I’ve stated, a slut can look entirely different from person to person and means a myriad of things. Neither scenarios are wrong or right, better or worse. They’re just personal preferences and those preferences vary.

Just because a woman doesn’t sleep around does NOT set her on a moral high ground. And if a woman does sleep around it does NOT mean she lacks disrespect for herself. It’s simply her choice and what she enjoys.

So, back to my original point: I’m a slut, proudly and unapologetically. However, it took work to get here. I had to spend time reclaiming the word, because quite frankly the notion that a woman is “dirty” for showing off her body or sleeping with people just didn’t sit right with me. Society conditioned me to believe it‘s inappropriate, but IT’S NOT.

A woman is allowed to explore her sexuality in whatever way feels most authentic to her, and whatever that looks like is her choice; her choice is not wrong nor does it mean anything other than what she wants it to mean.

And to me being a slut means, I’m sexually open and embrace the fuck out of it. That’s it.

Sex With The Lights On - Podcast Interview with Marie Wold

In this podcast with Marie Wold on The Grind & Be Grateful Podcast, I dive into the reasons women feel insecure in their bodies and how to overcome it. I get deep about body image, sex, and personal experiences I’ve had. Tune in to hear my story and learn tools on how to feel more confident in your body and in the bedroom.

Website: https://www.grindandbegratefulpodcast.com/

Marie’s Instagram: @MarieeWold

SHOW NOTES:

  • Who is Devon Day? (7:57)

  • Idolizing unrealistic body types (9:30)

  • Food as a form of fuel and nourishment (12:10)

  • Empowering yourself with your experiences (13:37)

  • What’s keeping us trapped in our lack of confidence and self-acceptance (14:55)

  • The stories we tell ourselves (15:25)

  • Bringing awareness to self-limiting and self-sabotaging beliefs (15:40)

  • “You don’t have to take these stories to heart, and you don’t have to let them hold power over you” … “You have the power to re-write the script” (17:05)

  • Thoughts are just thoughts (17:46)

  • “Find where your insecurity is coming from, unpack the belief, and shift the narrative” (20:20)

  • “How boring would it be if we all looked the same?” (21:50)

  • “Nobody laughs the same as us, or smiles the same as us…” (22:09)

  • The Jealousy Cycle / Comparison Game  (23:10)

  • The difference between admiration and jealousy (24:10)

  • Sex With the Lights On (25:17)

  • “So many of us let our insecurities be our identity; you have insecurities, but you aren’t your insecurities” (26:55)

  • “We are conditioned to feel insecure about our insecurities” (28:16)

  • Porn – why we should NOT use it as a too to learn about sex  (30:25)

  • Let’s Talk about sex (32:55)

  • “We all have that inner mean girl…” (33:10)

  • Normalizing our bodies (34:10)

  • Silencing the noise; – being aware of our thoughts through meditation (34:40)

  • Roles – addressing and challenging stereotypes (36:55)

  • Communicating with our partners (38:10)

  • “Vulnerability helps us connect with people even deeper…”

  • Directing and validating others (40:38)

  • Vulnerability gets easier over time (42:36)

  • “Sex doesn’t always flow so seamlessly” (44:48)

  • Where to find Devon’s Guide, Sex With the Lights On (45:45)

  • One thing Devon is currently grinding for & grateful for (46:20)