taking things personally

On Taking Things Personally

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words CAN hurt me. When someone says something unkind to me or has a poor opinion of me, admittedly, it does occasionally hurt me.

I’m by no means immune to peoples spiteful words, actions, or opinions. It inflicts pain from time to time.

And that’s okay. It’s okay if someone’s words cause upset. It’s okay to say, “Fuck. That really hurt to hear from you, because I *do* actually care about your opinion of me.”

Now, while I do wholeheartedly agree it’s important to operate from a place of internal validation. And, to also internalize that whatever someone says to you is a projection and a reflection of them...
...that doesn’t go without saying, you can still care about external opinions and sometimes, it can actually be useful to take things personally.

I think we’re doing a disservice to ourselves when we pretend it doesn’t hurt and when we write everything off as “it’s not about me.”

Here’s the thing: typically, the reason peoples opinions and words hurt us is because somewhere inside us we hold it as true about ourselves...or at least used to.

Or because we just fucking care. That’s okay, too.

But, rather than dismissing everything, I invite you to take a closer look as to WHY it does hurt you and WHY you are taking it personally.

Like I said, it can be extremely useful and an excellent tool to help with your growth and your healing.

You can see it as positive criticism, feedback, and data to help you discover what you need to work on or what you need to work through.

For example, let’s say they call you out for sucking at something, this could be an opportunity for you to WORK ON it. Or maybe, they say something negative about your body, and that could be a sign you have body image insecurities you need to WORK THROUGH. Or perhaps, if you’re taking everything personally—that’s a huge wake up call, saying, “Baby girl, you need to work on cultivating self-confidence and start seeking more internal validation.”

So, yeah, it *can* be helpful. It *can* be a tool for our growth. But also, don’t forget... sometimes, you do actually just need to tell someone to go fuck themselves. 🤪🖤☠️