To Heal, You Must Feel

A few weeks ago, an unpleasant situation emerged that catalyzed a cascade of emotions:

Anxiety.
Fear.
Panic.
Anger.
Annoyance.
Nervousness.
Embarrassment.
Guilt.
Shame.

And it all spiraled me into the depths of deep and utter sadness. 

Experiencing a range of uncomfortable and painful emotions in one day ain’t fun. It fucking sucks. But, these days do happen and these feelings do occur; not every day is going to be seamless and blissful—some days it’s going to full of disarray, chaos, and disharmony.

So, in the midst of the upheaval, I gave myself permission to express each emotion, without judgement. I screamed and yelled “𝐖𝐓𝐅!” at least five times. I stomped my feet, aggressively. And I shed to tears, numerous times throughout the day.

I sat in the discomfort. I felt each emotion—questioning them, taking time to understand them, figuring out where they’re coming from and what they’re rooted in. In doing so, I emptied myself from them, because to feel them is also to relinquish. From there, my next step in healing was to move forward; to not sit, cling, or stay in my suffering for too long. So, I asked myself, “𝙽𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍, 𝙳𝚎𝚟𝚘𝚗? 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝‘𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝟷% 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜?”

I took the day off. I called a friend. I watched comedy. I journaled. I sang. And I went to bed early.

Everyone’s healing process looks different. But I know one things for certain: to heal you must feel. Too often, we try to run away, numb, deny, or suppress. We think if we avoid it, it’s gone. But in reality, it’s living inside us. It’s bubbling below the surface and you’re carrying the weight of its heaviness.

Cut that shit out, my dear.

Open and unpack the baggage. You’ll feel lighter afterward. I promise.

Hugs,

Devi