𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬, 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩:
If your partner loves someone else, it 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 means they love them, too. If you’re partner finds someone else attractive, it 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 means they find them attractive, too. It doesn’t detract from the love they have for you or the beauty they see in you.
Love is expansive. You can love multiple people.
ALL your insecurities will bubble up to the surface. You’ll even become aware of insecurities you never knew existed. Being in an open relationship doesn’t mean you’re immune to jealousy or you’re less susceptible to feeling it. It will come up, even when you least expect it. It’s inevitable.
^^ When insecurities or jealousy arises, it’s important never to judge, but seek to understand. Examine the external situation causing it, and identify the internal emotions triggering it. Dismantling these feelings will allow you to have a greater understanding of yourself.
Being jealous or insecure does not make you a jealous or insecure person. It means you’re a human, having a normal emotional experience.
You must let go of the need to control the outcome and accept all possibilities.
It’s work. A tremendous amount of work. It’s easy to get lost in the glamor of it all—the sex, the multiple connections, the novelty you can frequently experience. But let me assure you, shit ain’t easy. It’s a lot to manage, and requires so much bandwidth.
It will lovingly force you to dive a little deeper into cultivating more self assurance, more self awareness, and more self confidence. It will demand you to vocalize your needs, have difficult conversations, declare boundaries, and effectively communicate. It’ll remind you to stop trivializing your feelings in order to please someone else, because the way you feel is just as important. It will ask you to neglect beliefs no longer serving you or your partners.
Ultimately, for me, this relationship paved my path to a road full of self discovery and growth. And I’m utterly grateful for the valuable and crucial lessons this set up brought me.