Mindset // Mental Health

Battling Depression & Seeking Support

Recently, I experienced depression in a way I’ve never felt before. It was darker, heavier, and emptier than ever.

I’m no stranger to seasonal depression, but this state wasn’t that. It was something entirely different—and for me, far more intense. I didn’t just feel low, I felt empty.

It felt like a dementor came and sucked the life right out of me.

Everything felt unusually challenging. From writing, to using words...to thinking of words. From easy day-to-day tasks, to showing up to things that usually fill me up. From hanging out with friends, to just texting friends.

Even the simple act of moving my body from the bed suddenly wasn’t so simple.

It was all too much and too hard. It was paralyzing and isolating.

The newness of this feeling for me is what made the navigation of it so challenging; I hated that, because I couldn’t help myself and I’m typically really good at processing my emotions on my own.

And the heavier it got, the more I wanted to barricade in my bedroom and hide.

Reaching out didn’t feel like an option. And that was also strange, because I’m not one who shies away from support.

“Fuck. What is this. Why can’t I bring myself to do anything.”

Luckily, in that time, I had people who knew something wasn’t okay.

And it then became clear to me: depression is a feeling that requires support and that’s the hardest thing to ask for when you’re in that closed off space.

You want nothing more than to escape, to hide, and to shut off.

But I want to encourage you to send that text. To say, “Hey, I need support.” “Hey, I need a push.” “Hey, I need comfort.” “Hey, I need loved.”

To ask people to checkin and provide that help when you’re struggling to move from the bed.

You’re not a burden. You’re a human, experiencing an emotion that requires love, support, and connection.

But this post isn’t just for those who experience depression, this post is especially for those who know those who experience depression. Reach out. Checkin in. Consistently. Regularly. Let them know they’re loved and supported.

We’re in this together. We need each other.

Devi

Dear Restrictive Diets

Dear restrictive diets,

It’s not me, it’s you. You’re controlling, demanding, and require too much of my attention.

I did my absolute best to show up and listen to your requirements, but it was never good enough. If I wasn’t perfect, I needed to do better. You failed to acknowledge the improvements I did make, and only focused on what I did wrong.

I’m tired of feeling anxious about constantly trying to be punctilious with your rules and the guilt that comes with it when I’m not.

I’m sick of hearing I’d look better if I lost weight.

I’m done listening to you when it comes to what I can and can’t do. I have a life to live and you can’t be holding me back from experiencing it.

I’m going to listen to my intuition instead of your arbitrary rules. I’m going to live my life in accordance to what empowers me, my body, and my life.

It’s over.
Devi

Whose with me? Show of hands if you’re breaking up with restrictive diets too 🙋‍♀️

If you want to learn a better approach, join my free course: Master Your Mindset for Ultimate Fat Loss. I’ll teach you how to lose body fat without following restrictive protocols AND teach you how to accept your body before you lose a single pound 🖤😘

Five Smart & Healthy Habits to Practice Whenever You go Out for Drinks

Five smart habits to practice whenever you go out for drinks (↓):

>> Before ordering another round, ask yourself: would drinking another glass really enhance the experience or would one more just be superfluous?

>> Hydrate. Drink some water between drinks, and chug a glass (or two) before bed. It’ll help prevent those insufferable hangovers 🤪.

>> Before giving that impulsive “yes” when someone says, “let’s take shots!” ask yourself if YOU actually want a shot.

You’re under no obligation to say yes, even when someone offers...even when all your friends are taking shots. You don’t have to conform or give into social pressure.

This is a perfect opportunity for you to practice declaring healthy boundaries.

>> Pace yourself. Drink 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳.

>> If you want to go out to socialize—without drinking—give yourself permission to do so. You don’t need to drink a single drop to go out. I do it all the time and still have just as much fun.

The overarching theme: be mindful and intentional about your choices, boo. You body and your wallet will thank you.

Cheers to that.

Love your favorite oenophile,

Devi

The Real Cause for Emotional Eating

Emotional eating has less to do with control, and has more to do with learning to process emotions.

For many, it’s the inability to allow ourselves to feel difficult emotions.

We’ve been conditioned to avoid pain. That if you’re experiencing some sort of disharmony—you need to ignore it, suppress it, and cover it up.

And so we adapt maladaptive coping mechanisms—food, drugs, alcohol, sex—anything that will numb what’s going on inside of us.

But these coping mechanisms don’t solve anything; they only distract us momentarily and temporarily, and then usually exacerbate everything and manifest into something bigger later on.

For example: in the case of emotional eating, you use food to numb, but after eating your feelings, your problem still exists, as do your emotions. And now, on top of that, you feel guilty and uncomfortable from eating too much.

Relate?

Part of disrupting this pattern and breaking up with this behavior is allowing yourself to lean into your emotions. To process them. To understand them. To feel them.

And sometimes feeling is uncomfortable.

AND THAT’S OKAY.

You’re allowed to feel hurt, insecure, sad, lonely, heartbroken, depressed, anxious, afraid, helpless, overwhelmed, nervous, jealous.

Bring awareness to what you’re feeling, without judgement attached.

Whatever’s coming up for you is valid, allowed to be seen, and just wants to be heard because it has something to tell you.

Your emotions are your friends. Even, when it hurts. They want to protect you. And the more you suppress them, the more they persist, because you’re ignoring what it desperately what’s you to know.

So, identify what the emotion is telling you and what the need is: comfort, security, love, connection, care, support, just space to breathe. And then address how you can fill those needs.

When you acknowledge what’s below the surface and allow it to move through, the discomfort eventually dissipates. Feel your feelings, boo—only then will you experience true liberation from it.

I’ll share more on this topic in a future post 🖤

Overcoming an Eating Disorder & Body Dysmorphia

It’s been a little over two years since I severely suffered from an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. And fuck. That struggle was life shattering in all the ways something can be, because it affected so many areas of my life.

Hating my body started in my earliest days, too. And the more and more I became aware of my body, the more and more that feeling intensified.

There were so many factors that lead into this. To start, I watched other women in my life obsess over their bodies and listened to them shame themselves for not being small enough.

That had it’s own effect and in a way programmed me to believe that was normal behavior.

Mixed with that, there was (still is) social pressure to look a certain way; constantly inundated with images and messages on how you should look. You’re spoon fed the idea that if you want to be loved, popular, successful, celebrated, happy...you MUST live up to these flawless expectations.

And I tried and I never achieved it, because it’s impossible. Because perfection doesn’t exist. Because what you see is distorted and photoshopped.

But, at the time, I didn’t have that awareness, so I grew to hate my body even more. And that hate and obsession is what catalyzed my eating disorder.

This a huge epidemic so many face, and it’s no surprise as to why. We’re taught how to hate ourselves. To berate ourselves, judge ourselves, be hard on ourselves, and constantly change ourselves.

Instead of being taught to accept, while striving to be the best version of ourselves—in a compassionate and loving way.

Once I realized that for myself, I had to spend time digging, unpacking, and relearning years of conditioning. And anyone who says that process is easy, they’re lying to you. It’s not. Loving yourself is hard because you’re told day in and day out not to.

I want to remind you not to hate yourself FOR hating yourself, because it isn’t your fault. To practice being gentler with yourself a little more everyday. To practice replacing hate with something neutral, as opposed to jumping right into something positive. To practice, even when resistance comes in. To practice, because you deserve it. Because you’re worth it.

xx

Devi

The Fear of Being Alone

When I moved from NYC to California, I was confronted with one of my fears: being alone.

Being alone meant sitting with my thoughts, feelings, insecurities, fears, heartbreak, and trauma from the past; the things I didn’t want to process because I knew it’d painful and uncomfortable.

So, I avoided it by being in relationships.

I was that person who jumped from one relationship to the next without giving myself space to process the severing of the last one.

^ not the best decision, because what happens is you carry the trash from the last relationship into the next and create a mess.

And because I jumped into relationships, I was basically saying, “I know we just met and I don’t really know you yet, but you give me attention and check *some* of my boxes... so uh, yeah, let’s be an exclusive thing?!”

I was settling and finding myself in unfulfilling partnerships. I’d either be with someone I only *kinda* liked. Or, I’d be in toxic relationships (the toxicity sometimes created by my own shit), because that pain was familiar and more comfortable than facing the unfamiliar pain of being alone.

But then, I moved across the country to live in an empty space, with my empty heart. And sure, I could’ve numbed with distractions that weren’t people, but I decided to explore what I habitually escaped from. To get curious about it and ask myself why I was afraid of it.

And so I did. And it was hard. And it brought up A LOT of shit. And I cried myself to sleep almost every single night for a month straight.

And...
...I lived.

Because pain is ephemeral.

This process taught me the importance of being alone and how to do it, but it also taught me to stop running away from my pain.

Pain is one of your greatest teachers and growth usually comes from the lowest places in your life.

And fuuuck. I came out wiser, stronger, and happier than ever before. Oh, and I discovered how much I actually love being alone.

My challenge for you is to ask: what pain am I running away from and why? Stop resisting and start exploring. Get curious, because there’s lessons in the pain⚡️

xx

Devi

Master Your Mindset for Ultimate Fat Loss

You so desperately want to lose body fat and gain control of your habits, but you’re struggling. You’ve tried everything and wind up with the same outcome each time: back at square one, because you fell off...again.

At this point changing your body feels impossible. It seems like no matter what you do, you’re constantly stuck in that fucking awful ‘end-and-attempt’ cycle.

You’re fucking vexed (😣) and probably thinking to yourself, “𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎?! 𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜? 𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝙸 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛?

Here’s the thing, boo. Most fat loss programs are doing you a huge disservice. While they give you the principals to lose body fat, they leave out the *most* important component for long term success: the mental work.

You can’t have a sustainable physical transformation, 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 you have a mental one too.

And that’s exactly what I’m going to teach you inside my FREE course: Master Your Mindset for Ultimate Fat Loss.

In this course, I’m going to show you what’s holding you back, exactly how to fix it, and help you completely transform your mindset. If you’re ready to finally gain control and achieve the results you’ve been longing for—head to the link HERE to join the course for free 😘 see ya inside!

JOIN THE COURSE FOR FREE

Taking Control of Anxiety Instead of Letting it Control You

“Shouldn’t you be, like, worried?”
“About what?”
“Idk.”
“Omg you’re right!” 😰

^ A meme I saw about a conversation between you and anxiety.

If you struggle with anxiety—like myself—you’re familiar with how spot on that meme is.

Anxiety will lurk in the corner, sneak up on you, and take your breath away. Sometimes for reasons you can’t even pinpoint.

It just wanted to say hello and remind you that it still exists.

Oh, hello, anxiety. You again.

Dealing with anxiety on a regular basis is relatively new for me. It didn’t start happening until last year—around this time. And because it was somewhat foreign to me, I had absolutely no fucking idea what to do with it and how to deal with it. I’d walk around panicked, completely consumed, unable to process thoughts clearly, feeling like I was on the verge of breaking down.

And sometimes I did.

Can you relate? Crippling, isn’t it?

While anxiety still creeps up on me—pretty often, tbh—I finally discovered tools to help manage it when it does.

First, it‘s important decipher between what feeds it power and what actually helps it. In the past, feeling anxious instantly perpetuated thoughts of judgement:

Why am I anxious?
I don’t want to feel this way.
It’s not going away.
Omg. I’m so anxious!!!!

This only exacerbated it. Instead, I invite you to acknowledge its existence, without resistance.

From there, figure out what YOU need to feel grounded. Typically, anxiety comes from being energetically out of your body. The energy gets trapped in your chest, throat, and head space.

So, bring awareness to your lower body. Take deep belly breaths, feel into your legs, and wiggle your toes.

You’re breath is the most reliable and powerful tool to bring you back into body and the present moment.

The next time you’re feeling anxious: take a deep inhale for four seconds, pause for two, exhale for six, pause again for two, and repeat.

Loving Yourself is Hard

“Just love yourself,” they say (🧐). As if it was easy. As if you could undo and reprogram everything you’ve been taught—from the beginning—with a flip of switch. As if you could rewrite the script you’ve been rehearsing for years, and memorize an entirely new narrative overnight.

“Aha. You’re so right. Why didn’t I ever think of that?! Let me just looveeee myself.”

LOL.

This notion floating around that repeating positive affirmations and relinquishing people’s opinions will fix all your problems, IS the problem.

Don’t get me wrong, these are effective tools that put you in an advantageous position and they’re part of the puzzle piece. But, it’s far more than just saying words and releasing the need for external validation.

While there is good intent behind this messaging, it can be extremely crippling and harmful to those learning how to love themselves.

Because what happens is you’ll look in the mirror, repeat the affirmation, and think, “Why isn’t this fucking working? How come everyone on Instagram loves themselves by saying this and it doesn’t do anything for me.”

All it did was perpetuate more judgement, more self-criticism, and made you feel even worse.

As much as I wish it was an overly simplistic process; that you could just tell yourself you ‘love yourself,’ and then all of your insecurities, fears, bruises, and problems evaporate.

It just doesn’t work that way.

I want you to know that wherever you are right now and however you feel, you are perfectly okay. You’re exactly where you need to be.

AND you can take ONE step forward in the direction you’re longing for.

Maybe it’s reading a book, hiring a body image coach, going to therapy, moving your body consistently, eating a vegetable, working with me (🤪). Whatever makes YOU feel 1% better.

It’s your process, boo. Don’t let this skewed version of self love make you think it’s supposed to be seamless and quick and constantly full of light. It’s not.

Hang in there. I know it’s tough. But, I believe in you and I’m here to help you, if you need. 🖤 Luuuh you.

Devi

Is This How You Want to Spend Your Life?

There’s one thing in life we all know that’s absolutely guaranteed: 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐝.

𝚈𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎...
...𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝.

Within a second, your life will flash before your eyes. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝗚𝗼𝗻𝗲. It’s finished with nothing more to add, nothing more to say. Your story completely written to the very last page and to the very last word.

Truism I sit with frequently. It serves as a loving punch to be present and live more full.

A reminder that forces me out of my suffering. To leave the places that hurt me. To be intentional with how I spend each moment of my existence. To be aware of the thoughts I believe and the ones I should relinquish. To be choosey about where I spend my energy. To be picky about the people I surround myself with. To stop ruminating on things that don’t matter and stressing about the future.

𝗧𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲, 𝙣𝙤𝙬.

Life is beautiful and it’s short. Take full advantage of it while you have it, because it’s all over, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵.

Ask yourself today: 𝙸𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎?