working through insecurites

Your Insecurities are Haunting You

Your insecurities will continue to lurk in the corner and perpetually paralyze you, until you muster up the courage to face them. And trust me, I get how the very act of doing so is petrifying considering you’ve been told to hide them and run away from them.

You’ve been raised and socialized to feel insecure about your insecurities. ⠀

“𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚜𝚝, 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚍: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚞𝚗𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎.”

It’s no wonder you try to conceal them and avoid them—you’re embarrassed to even have them.

But, baby girl, we’ve all got insecurities. To feel insecure is a normal part of the human experience. It’s not something to suppress, ignore, or feel ashamed about. It’s something you should take time to understand and unpack.

And I promise, as scary as they seem, their presence exists to serve you, not to terrorize you. They’re your compass to guide you; they’ll take you down a path to a deeper understanding of yourself. It’ll show you the things you need to work on or work through.

Confront them. Make sense of them. Dismantle them. Allow them to heighten your confidence—not stomp on it. Got it, love? Use the Lumos spell to light up the dark and face the very thing that’s been haunting you.

This Mindset Shift Will Dramatically Improve Your Life

I used to avoid things I sucked at. Writing? Forget about it. Public speaking? Oh hell no. Dancing? Lol.

I had a fixed mindset. In other words, I believed the fallacy that weaknesses couldn’t be modified, altered, or polished. In my mind, it was: these are the things I suck at and these are the things I’m good at and that’s the way it is. I just had to accept it and stick to my strengths and dodge all my weaknesses whenever they were presented.

This mindset kept me stagnant and stifled my growth. It limited me. I avoided challenges and stopped pursuing certain aspirations. It wasn’t serving me or my life by any means. Eventually, I decided to shift my way of thinking and adapt the growth mindset.

I went from “𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈” 𝒕𝒐 “𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈.”

This is a powerful place to operate from and will dramatically transform your life, because...

>> You embrace challenges
>> You’re open to feedback and see criticism as a tool to improve
>> You heighten your confidence
>> You see failure as an opportunity to expand
>> You become multitalented and well-rounded (in my opinion, two very attractive traits 🤤).

As Neil Strauss says, “𝑰 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆, 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒓.” Growth has become a core value of mine, and I’m constantly on the prowl to find and master new skills.

So here’s what I want you to do: think about something you suck at, but wouldn’t mind being good at. Learn it. Study it. And master it.

Be a student of life ⚡️

Letting Go of Self-Limiting Beliefs

You want to start dating again. Or hop on Bumble BFF to foster new friendships, make new connections. Maybe, you want to hit on the good-looking human, sitting at the bar. Or perhaps, you want to start writing. Public speaking. Finally lift weights, not in the private room, but the actual weight room.

But.

You’re inundated with all these messages you tell yourself, about yourself, preventing you from making those moves. They say something like this:

𝑶𝒉, 𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒚. 𝑵𝒐𝒐𝒐𝒐. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒏 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔. 𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒚. 𝑾𝒆𝒊𝒓𝒅. 𝑨𝒘𝒌𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒂𝒔 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌.

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒓, 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅, 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕.

𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈? 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒇𝒕 𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚. 𝑷𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒄 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈? 𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉.

These are sabotaging and limiting beliefs you tell yourself, and they’re holding you hostage from experiencing the things you feel called and compelled to do. You continuously water these weeds. You treat them with care, like they’re roses you want to keep blooming. And you hold them by their stem, irrespective of the thorns piercing you.

It’s time to pull them out of your garden. To stop watering them and feeding them light. To dig up the root, and plant new.

As Don Miguel Ruiz says, “Life is an illusion created by your own perception and can be changed the minute you choose to change it.” You have the power to choose what you believe and what you don’t believe. You can bring awareness to the limiting beliefs, and rewrite the script into a story that better fits and serves your life.

Profound. I know.

You can let these weeds continue to fester in your garden.

Or.

You can pull them, plant new seeds, and let the beauty flourish.

xx

Devi

The Truth About Confidence

Let’s dispel the myth that’s floating around about confidence 🧙‍♀️

Society has conditioned us to believe confidence comes externally. That it’s defined by our successes, the money in our bank accounts, our appearance, and how popular we are.

Regina George is a perfect example of why this is morbidly untrue. She portrays the perceived image of perfection: dresses to the nines, hair is well-groomed, makeup is flawless, comes from a wealthy family, everyone likes her, wants to be her.

BUT.

It’s all a facade—an illusion covering up what’s really bubbling below the surface. We all know she’s struggling internally; she constantly needs validation from others and she feels like she has to be perfect to be worthy...to be enough.

So while she has the money, the looks, the popularity...all the things that supposedly are believed to give you confidence—we see throughout the movie, she’s crumbling from within. The minute she doesn’t have validation or falls short from perfection, confidence is stripped right away from her.

This is the reason we have such a difficult time actualizing confidence. We’re chasing after all these external things and complying to the fallacy that in order to feel confident, you have to be perfect and look perfect.

Heed my words, darlings, because I’m about to reveal veracities that could dramatically shift your life:

  • Confidence isn’t created externally, it’s created internally.

  • Confidence isn’t about being perfect, it’s accepting you’re imperfect and making friends with those imperfections.

Confidence is kinda about...being comfortable with how wonderful you’re not (🤷‍♀️). It’s being okay with knowing you’re wrong sometimes. That you’re flawed. Awkward. Strange. Weird.

We think confident people can’t be insecure, painfully shy, or anxious. They can’t stutter, choke up, or say stupid shit. They can’t have cellulite or stretch marks or excess fat. In reality, confident people are okay with being all of that.

Sheer confidence is about how YOU feel about yourself internally and independently of anyone else. It’s owning the fuck out of who you are, including the things that make you a fucking human (🎤🤯).

xx

Devi

Relinquish and Come This Way

I’m giving you permission. Permission to relinquish the thing(s) that are no longer serving you—or perhaps never were.

The stories. The beliefs. The people. All the things causing you an unbearable amount of pain.

Release your grip.
Lay it down.
Let it go.

I know. Sometimes 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 easier to cradle the suffering. Easier because it can be used as an excuse. Used as a way to attach to the narratives you perpetually feed into. Used to get out of taking responsibility. Used to blame. Used to point.

Used to avoid change and growth, for the sake of familiarity and uncertainty.

But your resistance to give it up is the very reason the fire grows bigger. Stronger. More intense. It’s the reason everything is crumbling and burning to ash. Keeping it only fuels the fire.

You don’t need to spiral down the path of ongoing misery.

Relinquish and come this way. Hold my hand and join me, my darling.

Let’s take radical responsibility and pick up our feet to walk into a new direction. Use our hands to write a different story. Use our awareness to detach and recreate entirely new beliefs.

Through this awakening, you and I will step into a space full of freedom, bliss, and serenity.

Are you ready for beauty to blossom?

If you’re ready to live an Empowered life, click here and walk with me. I’ll hold your hand and show you the way.

Talk soon,

Devi