relationships

Give Yourself The Love and Attention You Beg From Others

โ€œ๐‘ฐ ๐’๐’๐’—๐’† ๐’š๐’๐’–. ๐‘ฐโ€™๐’Ž ๐’‰๐’†๐’“๐’† ๐’‡๐’๐’“ ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐‘ฐ ๐’˜๐’Š๐’๐’ ๐’•๐’‚๐’Œ๐’† ๐’„๐’‚๐’“๐’† ๐’๐’‡ ๐’š๐’๐’–.โ€ Words you so frequently say to others, but fail to say to yourself.

You sit there in the dark. Forgotten. Neglected. Abandon. Willing showing up for others, but never for yourself. Youโ€™re so out of touch with you that youโ€™re lost. And you expect someone else to find you, to provide for you, to fill what is hollow:

Youโ€™re in search of someone to give you:
๐™ฐ๐š๐š๐šŽ๐š—๐š๐š’๐š˜๐š—.
๐™ป๐š˜๐šŸ๐šŽ.
๐š‚๐šŽ๐šก.
๐š€๐šž๐šŠ๐š•๐š’๐š๐šข ๐š๐š’๐š–๐šŽ.
๐™ฐ๐š๐š๐š’๐š›๐š–๐š’๐š—๐š ๐š ๐š˜๐š›๐š๐šœ.

You tell them: ๐˜ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ; ๐˜ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ; ๐˜ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ; ๐˜ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถโ€™๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ; ๐˜ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ.

You put the responsibility on others to take care of you, to love you, to supply your needs. And as a result, you become so distant from yourself, so far from seeing your worth, and come to a place that lacks fulfillment.

Your cup will remain empty, until you choose to fill it on your own. Darling, please heed my words: it is your responsibility. To fill those voids, to take initiative, and to give yourself the boundless love placed in your heart. You can and you should give yourself what youโ€™re so desperately craving. The orgasmic sex, the appreciation, the gentle words, the date night, the roses, the nourishment and the nurturing. All of it.

Your love is yours to give yourself. You are your responsibilityโ€”no one elseโ€™s. And when you fill up your own cup, others will only add and love will overflow.

Fill up your cup today, boo. Today and every day.

xx

Devi

Choose People Who Choose You

The people you surround yourself with matter.

They can tear you apart, stomp on your confidence, damage your self esteem, try to mold you into something youโ€™re not, shame you for who you are, and spit you out making you feel like you were worth nothing.

Iโ€™ve been there. I know what that feels like.

And the magical thing is that you have a choice. You can either keep choosing someone like that, or you can choose someone who:

Heightens your confidence.
Accepts all the quirkiness.
Never puts pressure on you and allows you to make decisions when youโ€™re ready.
Gives you reassurance when you need it most.
Encourages you to do things youโ€™re afraid of, but you know itโ€™s necessary.
Makes you feel safe, especially in your most vulnerable states.
Helps you unpack your own insecurities and never judges you for them.
Reminds you of how much you have to offer the world.
Inspires you to be better.
Empowers you to show up living your truth.
Opens up space for you with nothing but compassion.
Lets you own the fuck out of who you are and never shames you for it.
Buys you Reeseโ€™s Cupsโ€”not mandatory, but definitely a bonus.

Most importantly, someone who chooses you, for you and never tries to change you. Because darling, you deserve that and nothing less.

You are not under any obligation to stay in a relationshipโ€”it is all but a choice.

You don't just hangout with someone, you choose to hangout with someone. You choose to spend your time investing in someone. You choose to be around them and let them be around you.

So take a moment to carefully examine each relationship in your life. Ask yourself:

Do I have to keep my guard up? Or do I feel safe?

Do I show up being my most authentic self? Or do I hide under a mask?

Do they push me to be better? Or shame me instead?

Do they encourage me to play big? Or keep me small?

Do you feel happy the majority of the time? Or sad?

Do they enhance my life? Or detract from it?

Do they invest in our relationship? Or am I the only one putting in effort?

Do they speak truth? Or do they lie?

Do they heighten my confidence? Or belittle me?

Do they add value to my life?

These are all serious questions to consider.

And I want to preference this by saying I know that severing relationships is never easy, but your life will flourish in a myriad of ways when you start choosing people who choose you. So choose wisely and choose carefully.

XO

Devi