“Just love yourself,” they say (🧐). As if it was easy. As if you could undo and reprogram everything you’ve been taught—from the beginning—with a flip of switch. As if you could rewrite the script you’ve been rehearsing for years, and memorize an entirely new narrative overnight.
“Aha. You’re so right. Why didn’t I ever think of that?! Let me just looveeee myself.”
This notion floating around that repeating positive affirmations and relinquishing people’s opinions will fix all your problems, IS the problem.
Don’t get me wrong, these are effective tools that put you in an advantageous position and they’re part of the puzzle piece. But, it’s far more than just saying words and releasing the need for external validation.
While there is good intent behind this messaging, it can be extremely crippling and harmful to those learning how to love themselves.
Because what happens is you’ll look in the mirror, repeat the affirmation, and think, “Why isn’t this fucking working? How come everyone on Instagram loves themselves by saying this and it doesn’t do anything for me.”
All it did was perpetuate more judgement, more self-criticism, and made you feel even worse.
As much as I wish it was an overly simplistic process; that you could just tell yourself you ‘love yourself,’ and then all of your insecurities, fears, bruises, and problems evaporate.
It just doesn’t work that way.
I want you to know that wherever you are right now and however you feel, you are perfectly okay. You’re exactly where you need to be.
AND you can take ONE step forward in the direction you’re longing for.
Maybe it’s reading a book, hiring a body image coach, going to therapy, moving your body consistently, eating a vegetable, working with me (🤪). Whatever makes YOU feel 1% better.
It’s your process, boo. Don’t let this skewed version of self love make you think it’s supposed to be seamless and quick and constantly full of light. It’s not.
Hang in there. I know it’s tough. But, I believe in you and I’m here to help you, if you need. 🖤 Luuuh you.