how to be confident

The Truth About Confidence

Let’s dispel the myth that’s floating around about confidence 🧙‍♀️

Society has conditioned us to believe confidence comes externally. That it’s defined by our successes, the money in our bank accounts, our appearance, and how popular we are.

Regina George is a perfect example of why this is morbidly untrue. She portrays the perceived image of perfection: dresses to the nines, hair is well-groomed, makeup is flawless, comes from a wealthy family, everyone likes her, wants to be her.


It’s all a facade—an illusion covering up what’s really bubbling below the surface. We all know she’s struggling internally; she constantly needs validation from others and she feels like she has to be perfect to be be enough.

So while she has the money, the looks, the popularity...all the things that supposedly are believed to give you confidence—we see throughout the movie, she’s crumbling from within. The minute she doesn’t have validation or falls short from perfection, confidence is stripped right away from her.

This is the reason we have such a difficult time actualizing confidence. We’re chasing after all these external things and complying to the fallacy that in order to feel confident, you have to be perfect and look perfect.

Heed my words, darlings, because I’m about to reveal veracities that could dramatically shift your life:

  • Confidence isn’t created externally, it’s created internally.

  • Confidence isn’t about being perfect, it’s accepting you’re imperfect and making friends with those imperfections.

Confidence is kinda about...being comfortable with how wonderful you’re not (🤷‍♀️). It’s being okay with knowing you’re wrong sometimes. That you’re flawed. Awkward. Strange. Weird.

We think confident people can’t be insecure, painfully shy, or anxious. They can’t stutter, choke up, or say stupid shit. They can’t have cellulite or stretch marks or excess fat. In reality, confident people are okay with being all of that.

Sheer confidence is about how YOU feel about yourself internally and independently of anyone else. It’s owning the fuck out of who you are, including the things that make you a fucking human (🎤🤯).



How to feel more confident in the bedroom

Do you ever feel uncomfortable during sex because of your body? Have you ever found yourself avoiding certain positions because you felt insecure about certain things? Or perhaps you completely avoid sex because you hate the thought of someone seeing you naked? 

After working with hundreds of women through my coaching program I realized how common it is for women to feel uncomfortable during sex. So I decided to interview sexologist, Shan Boodram to get her input on some common insecurities women have during sex. 


How to feel confident with your partner when you feel uncomfortable or worried about certain “flaws” 


How Shan overcame her own personal insecurities


How to feel comfortable being naked in front of someone


Shan’s top tips on how to feel more confident in the bedroom 


How to create more sensuality


How to start feeling more comfortable talking dirty with your partner 


How to spice things up and make time for sex if you or your partner work a shit ton of hours, are always exhausted and/or have errands to run before and after work


What is a normal sex life?


Why do you think having sex is important? 




Shan has created a sex positive platform on youtube that has over 20 million views and growing.

If you haven't already, I highly recommend subscribing to her channel. She puts out extremely valuable content on sex, relationships and so much more.