It was a December month in NYC, I decided to order Italian food in, rather than going out and having to face the brisk, cold air. While I waited for the delivery, I had sex with my then-partner because what’s better than food showing up after sex?
...but really, food post sex is the best—just saying.
I was sitting on the couch, completely naked, after devouring chicken parmesan.
And then, suddenly...it hit me.
How comfortable I felt in my body and how profoundly different that allowed me to show up.
I sat sprawled out, full belly and all—without self-deprecation. I could let every part of me be seen without the worry of what I looked like.
Years before this, eating while being naked or just being naked in general, wasn’t something I felt comfortable doing.
There’s this quote that says, “Need motivation to lose weight? Just eat in front of the mirror. Naked.“
When I first read that, I was a teenager and at the time, it seemed like great advice. Now, I understand how truly FUCKED up that quote is.
But that quote carried with me and played a massive role in how I felt in my skin. I believed my body wasn’t worthy of food, wasn’t worthy of love, wasn’t worthy of being seen in its rawest form...until I looked a certain way.
Yet, in that exact moment and even now, it’s not uncommon for me to get up from having sex, say, “I’m hungry,” and scurry off to the kitchen, naked, to eat.
What’s changed? I didn’t change my body, I changed my beliefs.
We go throughout our years believing our bodies are flawed and it traps us from experiencing some of life’s most precious gifts:
You’ve been conditioned to think you’re flawed, but you’re not. The truth is the beliefs you attach to your body are flawed. And the wonderful thing is, you have the power to change those beliefs. You can pluck them from their roots and plant new.
You are worthy of love. Worthy of having orgasmic sex. Worthy of creating strong connections. Worthy of experiencing intimacy. Worthy of eating delicious food.
You don’t have to hustle to look a certain way in order to be worthy, to be seen, to be loved.
You’re worthy. Now and always.