how to feel confident

Your Insecurities are Haunting You

Your insecurities will continue to lurk in the corner and perpetually paralyze you, until you muster up the courage to face them. And trust me, I get how the very act of doing so is petrifying considering you’ve been told to hide them and run away from them.

You’ve been raised and socialized to feel insecure about your insecurities. ⠀

“𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚜𝚝, 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚍: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚞𝚗𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎.”

It’s no wonder you try to conceal them and avoid them—you’re embarrassed to even have them.

But, baby girl, we’ve all got insecurities. To feel insecure is a normal part of the human experience. It’s not something to suppress, ignore, or feel ashamed about. It’s something you should take time to understand and unpack.

And I promise, as scary as they seem, their presence exists to serve you, not to terrorize you. They’re your compass to guide you; they’ll take you down a path to a deeper understanding of yourself. It’ll show you the things you need to work on or work through.

Confront them. Make sense of them. Dismantle them. Allow them to heighten your confidence—not stomp on it. Got it, love? Use the Lumos spell to light up the dark and face the very thing that’s been haunting you.

Sex With The Lights On - Podcast Interview with Marie Wold

In this podcast with Marie Wold on The Grind & Be Grateful Podcast, I dive into the reasons women feel insecure in their bodies and how to overcome it. I get deep about body image, sex, and personal experiences I’ve had. Tune in to hear my story and learn tools on how to feel more confident in your body and in the bedroom.

Website: https://www.grindandbegratefulpodcast.com/

Marie’s Instagram: @MarieeWold

SHOW NOTES:

  • Who is Devon Day? (7:57)

  • Idolizing unrealistic body types (9:30)

  • Food as a form of fuel and nourishment (12:10)

  • Empowering yourself with your experiences (13:37)

  • What’s keeping us trapped in our lack of confidence and self-acceptance (14:55)

  • The stories we tell ourselves (15:25)

  • Bringing awareness to self-limiting and self-sabotaging beliefs (15:40)

  • “You don’t have to take these stories to heart, and you don’t have to let them hold power over you” … “You have the power to re-write the script” (17:05)

  • Thoughts are just thoughts (17:46)

  • “Find where your insecurity is coming from, unpack the belief, and shift the narrative” (20:20)

  • “How boring would it be if we all looked the same?” (21:50)

  • “Nobody laughs the same as us, or smiles the same as us…” (22:09)

  • The Jealousy Cycle / Comparison Game  (23:10)

  • The difference between admiration and jealousy (24:10)

  • Sex With the Lights On (25:17)

  • “So many of us let our insecurities be our identity; you have insecurities, but you aren’t your insecurities” (26:55)

  • “We are conditioned to feel insecure about our insecurities” (28:16)

  • Porn – why we should NOT use it as a too to learn about sex  (30:25)

  • Let’s Talk about sex (32:55)

  • “We all have that inner mean girl…” (33:10)

  • Normalizing our bodies (34:10)

  • Silencing the noise; – being aware of our thoughts through meditation (34:40)

  • Roles – addressing and challenging stereotypes (36:55)

  • Communicating with our partners (38:10)

  • “Vulnerability helps us connect with people even deeper…”

  • Directing and validating others (40:38)

  • Vulnerability gets easier over time (42:36)

  • “Sex doesn’t always flow so seamlessly” (44:48)

  • Where to find Devon’s Guide, Sex With the Lights On (45:45)

  • One thing Devon is currently grinding for & grateful for (46:20)

Are Negative Thoughts Normal?

Do you feel like when you’re wearing a bikini, your insecurities tend to cloud over you? Your thoughts are preoccupied with how you look rather than how much fun you’re having (or could be having)? You think things like...

 “I look gross”
“Her body is better than mine”
“I don’t want to take my clothes off”

What if I told you that all these thoughts are harmless? And they don’t have to hold power over you?

What most “self love gurus” don’t tell you is that negative thoughts will come up—and that’s okay.

A thought is just thought; you will have weird ones, silly ones, positive ones, uncomfortable ones, and negative ones.

But these thoughts will only affect you when you get lost in them—when you attach yourself to the story and believe it as true.

But, you are not your thoughts. Don’t latch on to them, don’t let them control you and don’t let them take momentum.

You deserve to frolic around in your bikini without a single concern about your appearance, because your body is not wrong. There is absolutely nothing to worry about.

Drink your marg out of a red solo cup (because glass in water is dangerous - duh) and lounge around on inflatable tubes.

Have fun, relax, and stop giving fucks about things that aren’t worth giving a fuck about.

XX

Devi


Do you want more body confidence tips? Click here to join my FREE body confidence course.

 

Do You Feel Insecure In A Bikini? Try This.

One powerful way to feel confident in a bikini is to break down the thoughts that are holding you back from experiencing it.

Let's dive in, shall we?

1. What story are you telling yourself that is holding you back from showing up confidently?

Example: I shouldn’t wear a bikini because of the cellulite on my legs — it’s gross.

2. Where does this story originate from? More often than not, this story / belief was projected on you by someone else at some point in your life.

Example: I think cellulite is gross because I was / am constantly bombarded with messages that tell me to get rid of it.

3. Is it true? (The famous, Bryon Katie, question).

Example: is it actually true that cellulite is gross? Nope, it is not true. Cellulite is a normal thing to develop. Companies just heavily photo-shop models and use subliminal messaging to manipulate me into buying their shitty product — fuck that.

4. How would you feel without this thought? (Another Bryon Katie question).

Example: I wouldn’t waste my energy being worried about something that’s completely normal. My thoughts wouldn’t be racing with insecurities, instead they would be focused on being present in whatever activity I’m engaging in. I would finally feel better about putting on a bikini.

5. Why should you let go of this thought?

Example: I should let go of this thought because it’s simply not serving me, it’s not true and I will not feed into society’s bullshit.

 

Don’t let these harmful thoughts take momentum, baby guuuuurl. Break up with them and then proudly wear that bikini of yours.

XX

Devi


Do you want more body confidence tips? Click here to join my FREE body confidence course.

I am plus size and still love my body

I am so incredibly honored to have been given the opportunity to interview the fashionista herself, Casey Snow. From her inspiring message to her contagious smile, this girl is truly a light to the world. 

When I started following Casey on Instagram, I was immediately drawn to her exuberant confidence and captivating style. Not only does she take excellent care of her body, but her positive messages about self-love, body love, and living a fearless life make her a killer role model for women everywhere.

I am so excited for you to dive in and learn her perspective on loving your body, exactly as it is. 

So without further ado....  

What inspired you to start talking about body positivity on your social media platform? 

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Since I was little I remember how different I was treated compared to the other kids, at school and even at home. The first time I questioned myself was the day I ran home crying after some kids threw rocks at me and called me names. I was just starting kindergarten. I ran into my mother’s arms and cried. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong. 

I started talking about body positivity because it took me till after high school to realize that I had done nothing wrong. For years I believed I wasn’t worth anything because of other’s disdain for what I looked like. My appearance made me an outsider and all the hate and ignorance made me begin to hate my own body. All I wanted was to be like everyone else and I started tearing myself apart piece by piece until eventually one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I made a choice that would forever change my life and thankfully I am still here, but I don’t want that to be the case for anyone else. 

I never had a community or people I could relate to or talk to and that’s what I want to help build. I want to show others that they aren’t alone and that people’s ignorance doesn’t make them not worth loving because they are worth everything and more. 

How did you get to the place you are now to feel confident and empowered in your skin? 

I went through a lot to get to where I am now and even today, I still struggle. You don’t always need to be strong to be confident, but I think letting go helped. Letting go of expectations and being able to just be myself without the restraints of what people think of me or not. It matters what I think of myself and that I can love who I am for everything that I am, including my body. People find themselves at different times in their lives. It’s never easy, but it is always worth it. 

What does body positive mean to you? 

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Body positivity to me means loving your body for all that it is and goes through. As a plus size woman, it’s about growth and acceptance of a body society deems unacceptable and fighting against that unrealistic expectation. Whether someone weighs more or less, it doesn’t matter because our bodies don’t define us. We do. I want to create a community where we are seen more than for our bodies, but as people worth more because we are more. 

 

 

 

We all have those days where we just feel “blaaahhhhhh” about ourselves. What do you do to bring yourself back to center and feel better about yourself? 

There are definitely days where I feel lost, but then I remember I’m not alone and I don’t have to be. Talking to people is a good way to help relieve that questioning. I am so thankful to be part of an amazing community where there is so many of us who have gone through similar experiences. Don’t ever be afraid or shamed  to reach out for help. Asking for help is one of the strongest things a person can do for themselves. It’s a big step and again, remembering you’re not alone is a comfort worth realizing.

What makes you feel most confident? 

What makes me confident everyday is knowing how far I have come and how many people I can help realize they are worth everything. Having taken me over a decade to realize that myself, I don’t want others to struggle with that as well. They deserve to be happy and to live their lives. Hate and ignorance is nothing worth waiting to be something that doesn’t exist. I want to build the voices of the silenced until we can no longer be ignored.


Get connected with Casey Snow: 

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I highly recommend checking out Casey on Instagram. Rather you need inspiration to spice up your wardrobe or want a reminder of your worth, she is your girl. 

Instagram: @discoveringcasey 

How to feel confident in the gym

Do you get intimidated when you go to the gym? Don't worry babe. This is normal. I felt this way when I first started too. Today I want to share with you some tips that have helped my clients and myself overcome gym intimidation. 

Watch the video below to learn! 

If you liked this video, make sure to subscribe for more videos! Click here to subscribe :)  

I hope this helps! 

XO 

Devon Day 


4 ways to feel confident in YOUR bikini body

From Bikini Body Challenges to magazine articles challenging us to “Get Bikini Body Ready,” we are constantly bombarded with this idea that we need to be lean, with perfectly clear and airbrushed looking skin to have a bikini body. 

Society is robbing us from our ability to accept and embrace our bodies exactly as they are right now. 

I’m sick of it. Aren’t you?

Don’t you want to reclaim your summers, your vacations and even your life? Oh girl, fuck yeah you do! 

This is how I suggest you do just that: 

Breakup with the ideal image of a “bikini body”

Society has perpetuated the concept that your body has to look a certain way in order to put a bikini on. But the truth is, every single person has a bikini body, because all they have to do is put a bikini on their body and viola - they have a bikini body. 

This bigoted idea of what a “bikini body” is supposed to look like is absolutely ridiculous. 

It strips us from showing up powerfully in our skin and is another way of deeming certain women unworthy of putting on a bikini. 

Your body is enough exactly as it is. You do not need permission nor do you need to follow unsolicited prerequisites to put on a bikini this summer. 

Action Step:

Go through your social media accounts and unfollow people who you compare yourself to or make you feel less. Follow more accounts that promote body positivity and self acceptance. This small action step can make a huge difference on how you feel about yourself and your body. 

Accept your “flaws” 

Having cellulite on the back of your thighs, stretch marks on your stomach and rolls as you move into different positions is not disgusting and it’s not a flaw - this is just something your body does and it’s completely normal. 

Sure, you don’t have to necessarily love these things about your body but you can start to bring awareness to these things without judging it or letting it dictate how you feel about yourself. You can accept it for what it is and move on with your day. These things are apart of your body but they certainly do not define your body. 

These things are normal and you are not flawed for having them. 

Action Step:

Normalize these things and call it for what it is: “cellulite,” “stretch marks,” “fat” instead of associating it with words like flawed, disgusting, gross, or ugly.

Be naked more

The majority of us don’t even feel comfortable being naked when we are alone, let alone being practically naked in front of a crowd of people. It can put you in a vulnerable and uncomfortable position when you are completely exposed and unable to cover up. I get it because I too felt this way. So how do you get comfortable with the uncomfortable? You do exactly that - you get comfortable being naked by being naked more.

Stand in front of the mirror naked (with positive thoughts). Walk around the house naked. Sleep naked. Get ready naked. Celebrate your body in it’s most natural state by being naked more. Stop covering yourself up in your own company. Embrace your body and all that it offers you and Take. It. Off.

Action Step:

Get naked! 

Wear a suit that makes you feel comfortable

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Ignore any guide on what type of bathing suit you should wear for your body type because it’s irrelevant. You don’t need anyone’s permission to wear a certain suit. 

You don’t have to cover up or hide certain body parts, but If you want to hide or cover up certain body parts, you can absolutely do so. If you have small boobs, you don’t have to buy a bikini with extra padding. If you are curvy, you do not have to cover up with a one piece. If you have cellulite or stretch marks, you do not have to find a suit that will hide it. 

You can wear whatever you feel most comfortable in and you don’t have to apologize for it. 

Action Step:

Go shopping!! Try on a variety of different colors and styles until you find a suit (or three) that make you feel good in your bikini body. 


I hope that you found these 4 tips helpful and most importantly, put them to use! 

With love, 

Devon Day

P.S. HUGE shoutout to my dude, Andrew Downing, for shooting these amazing photos and helping me get all these beautiful women together to promote body positivity. 


Want to learn how to feel more confident in your body? Download the Love Your Body Now guide! A 6 week program designed to help you love your body more. 

Love Your Body Now

If you are tired of looking in the mirror feeling like your body isn't enough, this program is for you. If you feel like your body does not live up to society's expectations, this program is for you. If you are ready to feel beautiful and worthy exactly the way you are, then this program is most definitely for you. 

So many of us lack self confidence and struggle with body image, but it’s not our fault that we feel this way. We are constantly told by the media what we should look like so when we don’t live up to those expectations, it makes us feel like we aren’t enough. The media has completely robbed us from realizing our worth.

I decided I wanted to create a program to help women take back what was stolen from us. This is a 6 week program that is designed to help you step back into your power and love your body exactly the way it is. 

I want to love my body NOW!

6 tips on how to stop comparing yourself

I think most of us know that comparing ourselves is not a good way to spend our energy, yet so many of us struggle with it and still find ourselves constantly doing it. Rather you are comparing yourself because you think you are better or because you think someone else is better, both situations bring negative emotions.

Comparison was something I struggled with for years and it was one thing that held me back from being able to completely love and accept myself. It's not an easy habit to break because we are put in situations daily that allow for it to happen. So with that said, I want to share my top six tips that have helped me overcome the habit of comparing myself to others.


TIP #1: REALIZE THAT JUST BECAUSE SHE IS BEAUTIFUL DOESN'T MEAN YOU AREN'T

This is easily one of my favorite self love quotes I've came across. It resonates with me deeply because I know for a lot of us girls, even myself, when we see a beautiful women we can instantly feel less. You are allowed to appreciate and acknoldge someone's beauty without it effecting the way you feel about yourself.

Instead of looking at the picture thinking one of us is more beautiful, I realize that we are both completely different and comparing each other just wouldn't be fair. My cousin,  Alexa , and I are both beautiful in our own unique ways. 

Instead of looking at the picture thinking one of us is more beautiful, I realize that we are both completely different and comparing each other just wouldn't be fair. My cousin, Alexa, and I are both beautiful in our own unique ways. 

TIP #2: COMPLIMENT OTHERS

I think more people should go out of their way to compliment others. From personal experience, complimenting others allowed me to be more comfortable acknowledging someone's unique qualities and beauty without it detracting from the way I felt about myself. Not only that, but it's a good way to spend your energy because it makes the other person feel good and it makes you feel good (at least it does for me).

TIP #3: LIMIT PEOPLE YOU CONSTANTLY COMPARE YOURSELF TOO

One thing I did last year was unfollow people on social media I constantly compared myself too. When I had first started my fitness journey, I followed girls who had the ideal body that I wanted to have. I realized that my news feed was filled with girls bodies and people I wanted to look like. While most people find that motivating, I found that it only belittled my self confidence and made me feel like absolute shit about myself. You are in control of who you follow on social media so choose to only allow for people who make you feel good about yourself, not less.

TIP #4: CONSTANTLY REMIND YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF

Too often we spend more time thinking negatively about ourselves or focused on the things we want to change instead of being happy with what we are already have or are capable of. There is nothing wrong with wanting to make improvements but you are also allowed to be content with where you are now. You are allowed to remind yourself that you are beautiful as you are, and point out the qualities about yourself that you love.

TIP #5: CONTINUE TO WORK ON YOUR CONFIDENCE

Comparison can trigger from lack of confidence so similar to my last tip, work on accepting yourself and appreciating what you do love about yourself to help build up your confidence.

TIP #6: REALIZE YOU ARE NOT COMPARABLE

Last but not least, and what I think is obvious is that you are not comparable. You have different talents, unique qualities and special gifts that you offer to the world that no one else does. Comparing yourself to someone is like comparing pizza to a burger -- two completely different things and comparing the two wouldn't make sense.


So those are my top tips on how to stop comparing yourself. I hope you found it helpful! :)

XO

Devon Day