how to love yourself

F*ck Your Positivity

How many times have you heard the following when you were in the midsts of undesirable situation or an uncomfortable feeling?

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒆𝒕.
𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇.
𝑩𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆.
𝑩𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍.

Don’t get me wrong, these things 𝘤𝘢𝘯 help.

But, it’s usually not the first solution, especially when you’re so far in it. All these overly optimistic statements are frustrating because it invalidates your pain and someone just slathered simplicity on a complex problem.

And you want nothing more than to tell them and their optimism to fuck all the way off—rightfully so.

You don’t always have to view the world with your rose-colored glasses. You can see things for what they are and accept the fact that the circumstance is undesirable.

There doesn’t have to be a bright side or a positive in everything. It can simply just suck. You can say, “𝖨 𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌.”

You can complain.
You can cry.
You can panic.
You can scream and stomp your feet and have an outburst of resentment.

You’re feeling your feelings and vocalizing what’s real for you—that’s the healthy thing to do; even when those feelings are full of pain, negativity, and arouse indignation.

Sometimes the answer is to live in the suckage for a day or two and honor it and everything that comes with it.

And only then, when you’ve expressed and released your frustration—it’ll be easier to make that mental shift, or to at least have clarity on what the next solution is to the problem.

The Truth About Confidence

Let’s dispel the myth that’s floating around about confidence 🧙‍♀️

Society has conditioned us to believe confidence comes externally. That it’s defined by our successes, the money in our bank accounts, our appearance, and how popular we are.

Regina George is a perfect example of why this is morbidly untrue. She portrays the perceived image of perfection: dresses to the nines, hair is well-groomed, makeup is flawless, comes from a wealthy family, everyone likes her, wants to be her.

BUT.

It’s all a facade—an illusion covering up what’s really bubbling below the surface. We all know she’s struggling internally; she constantly needs validation from others and she feels like she has to be perfect to be worthy...to be enough.

So while she has the money, the looks, the popularity...all the things that supposedly are believed to give you confidence—we see throughout the movie, she’s crumbling from within. The minute she doesn’t have validation or falls short from perfection, confidence is stripped right away from her.

This is the reason we have such a difficult time actualizing confidence. We’re chasing after all these external things and complying to the fallacy that in order to feel confident, you have to be perfect and look perfect.

Heed my words, darlings, because I’m about to reveal veracities that could dramatically shift your life:

  • Confidence isn’t created externally, it’s created internally.

  • Confidence isn’t about being perfect, it’s accepting you’re imperfect and making friends with those imperfections.

Confidence is kinda about...being comfortable with how wonderful you’re not (🤷‍♀️). It’s being okay with knowing you’re wrong sometimes. That you’re flawed. Awkward. Strange. Weird.

We think confident people can’t be insecure, painfully shy, or anxious. They can’t stutter, choke up, or say stupid shit. They can’t have cellulite or stretch marks or excess fat. In reality, confident people are okay with being all of that.

Sheer confidence is about how YOU feel about yourself internally and independently of anyone else. It’s owning the fuck out of who you are, including the things that make you a fucking human (🎤🤯).

xx

Devi

Can You Love Your Body and Still Want to Change it?

You can accept your body right now and still want to make changes to it. These two are not mutually exclusive. As a matter of fact, if both are applied simultaneously magic happens.

When you operate from a place of self-acceptance and self-compassion, changing your body becomes easier than ever, because you take care of what you love.

The misconceived notion that self-acceptance and self-love equates to laziness or stagnation is a silly concept. Neglecting your health and the myriad of other things that embody self-care is not a reflection of love.

When you love your body, you treat it with the upmost care and respect. This encompasses both speaking kindly to yourself and doing the very things that nourish it—working out, eating healthy, getting proper sleep—that whole thing.

So yes, it’s okay to want change, there’s just a fine line between where the desire to change is derived from.

If you want to change your body because you think being leaner will somehow make you more worthy of love, success, connection, confidence, and belonging—that’s a massive problem, because it’s morbidly untrue.

But when you want to change your body to improve the quality of your life OR simply because you fucking want to (hello autonomy) it’s a completely different story.

Hating your body lean doesn’t work, or at least never ends in a happy fairy tale. Cut that shit out and watch how much easier it is to make those desired alterations.

xx

Devi

4 Books That Taught Me How To Love Myself

These four books helped pave my path down the road to self love, self acceptance and self worth. And while I do believe there are a myriad of ways in which you can get to those places without reading, books can make the process easier because you'll have the tools, direction and understanding of what you need to unravel and work through.

I highly recommend diving into one of the books so you can see for yourself how powerful and magical it can be for your life.

What my clients are saying....

DANIELLE'S STORY 

"So I bet you are all wondering what it’s like to work with Devon… She’s always so motivating on social media, between her Instagram, youtube, and blog. Devon has a lot of ways that she reaches out to everybody.

Back about a month ago, I made an Instagram for my fitness and health journey wanting to really focus on motivating younger girls and inspiring others. I really don’t know how I found Devon’s Instagram among the hundreds of other fitness accounts that I followed, but I am so grateful that I did! I love Devon's whole mantra on fitness and the message she is trying to deliver to others. Love yourself and love your body. It’s one of the main things that every girl struggles with and we all need to learn to love ourselves over losing weight or trying to fit into a bikini in the summer.

After going through Devon's program, I will never go back to doing hours of cardio to lose weight or even regular "body building" style workouts. Devon has opened my eyes to more a efficient and extremely effective way to workout. Being a full time college student and working, I don’t have a lot of free time and I would miss out on hanging out with friends and family to workout. But not anymore. Devon provided me with workouts that I can manage to fit in my schedule. 

Devon doesn't just give you a plan but she teaches you. I am so happy that Devon shared with me so much of her knowledge because I don’t think I could have done it on my own. I would have not seen results and went back to starving, binging, and lots of cardio. 

Within the program I have gained confidence, my body has changed physically, I have been able to adjust my diet into a way of eating that I enjoy and I've made a new friend. Devon is always just a text, email or call away. She has always been there for me and I am so grateful for that. 

Working with Devon is such an amazing experience and I am so happy that we are able to work together. To anybody just starting on their fitness journey or struggling with self love… I highly recommend working with her! Don’t ever hesitate to email her either because she is the sweetest person you will ever meet!"

- Danielle Maurer